Itchy Ears and Burning Tongues

The silliest way my body has chosen to torture me in menopause.

Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash

“Are your ears burning?”

I heard that question many times in my childhood and understood it to be Appalachian Folk for “We were just talking about you!” Whether the discussion was salacious gossip or a general wondering aloud, there was enough talk about ears in my youth for one of the women in my family to let me in on some information I would need later in life.

We’re all familiar with the stereotypical symptoms of perimenopause: hot flashes, sudden rage, unpredictable menses, et cetera. But if your aunties and grannies didn’t clue you in, let me be the one to prepare you for the most irritating symptom I have experienced in my transition to the crone phase of womanhood.

My ears itch like the dickens, y’all.

And I don’t mean, “Oh, lemme just give that a little scritch-scratch, and I’ll be fixed right up.”

No, I’m talking full-on jamming a Q-Tip (which I am certainly not advocating for you to do) as far in as you can go without poking your brain and then swizzling it around at the speed of light in hopes that you might finally, actually, blessedly get that hidden itch to subside.

For the last few weeks, I assumed I was just experiencing some new seasonal allergy symptoms. I would run warm water in my ear to try to soothe the itchy, burning sensation, but once the water dried, I was almost worse off than I was before.

Quick check with the doctor turned up that my ears were squeaky clean, no infection in sight. So I was left scratching my head (through my ear) without answers.

Scrolling on TikTok one night, I came across a funny video about the symptoms of menopause that the creator didn’t know to expect. When I saw the words “itchy ears” flash across the screen, I nearly jumped out of bed and hollered. I say “nearly”, though, because my bed is really comfortable. I was already tucked in for the night and I wasn’t coming out of my cocoon if I didn’t have to. So, I hollered internally and set off for Google.

Sure as heck, there’s a connection.

“Falling oestrogen can cause the mucus membranes within the inner ear to dry out, which can affect your ears in several ways during menopause. A few ear problems which women can face at this time include ringing in the ears (tinnitus), hearing loss, earache, blocked ears, hot ears and itchy ears.” -Source

Get right out. What?!

Another website I found went into a deeper (pardon the pun) explanation of what causes this weird symptom.

“Estrogen helps maintain hydration and plumpness in tissues by stimulating the production of natural oils and collagen. During menopause, as estrogen levels naturally decrease, the mucous membranes in the body can become dry, including those in the ears. Dry mucous membranes in the ear canal can lead to itching, burning, and sometimes even wax build-up.” -Source

Well, doesn’t that just sound like the most fun a gal can experience on a Saturday night?

Since I already was strolling around Google, I went in search of the treatment for such a delicate situation. The same good folks as before kindly offered this as a potential relief for itchy ears.

“Most experts will tell you to avoid sticking Q-tips or other objects in your ears to scratch the itch because this can cause damage or further irritate your skin. You can try gently rubbing a natural oil like olive oil into the ear, or over-the-counter ear drops are also an option. Sleeping with a humidifier in your room can also help keep mucous membranes moist.” -Source

Uh-huh, no Q-Tips then. Just gotta deal with the itch and not go crazy. That seems reasonable.

Y’all, no wonder women rage around the time of menopause. Not only are our innards on fire, but we’ve got to deal with itches we can’t scratch, too? And now I’m reading we’ve got to be on the lookout for burning tongues?

Where I’m from, you get burning tongues from making people’s ears itch, not because your baby-makers are retiring.

Forget it. My itchy ears and I are going back to bed to scroll more TikTok. Someone come get me in 10 years when this is all over.