What Does it Feel Like to be Under a Spell?

Any photos I use for any of my stories are always edited and taken by me. Any similarity to other photos is due to them being of nature itself. Nature can repeat the same beautiful pattern in other places.

This is my lived experience. It might sound crazy, and that’s absolutely fine. Healthy skepticism is always good to have, especially when others can swindle you into believing a lie for their own benefit. Now, this is a cautionary tale because more people are becoming involved within the Occult and spellwork.

That doesn’t make them evil. I personally do spellwork to help myself heal as well as others, but that doesn’t mean we all use it for good. Though, I wish others did.

How Did I Know?

When I first met him, I felt a sense of panic as if we had met before. He had felt familiar, but not in a welcoming way. More so in the,”Why is he here?” followed by feeling like a deer in the headlights. Panic, fear, and a freeze response. I didn’t like him, and I do know why now. Many may not believe in soul ties or past lives, but I do. I’d met him before, and I didn’t wish to meet him again.

Over time, we had become somewhat of friends due to a mutual friend we both had at said time. I still had felt feelings of distrust and maybe even disgust, but I had somewhat enjoyed what he showed. However, something changed one night.

My feelings had gone from a natural distrust, but somewhat of a friendly bond to feeling charmed by him completely. There was a deeper part of me that always said to stop answering him or to stay away from him because something just felt off how everything switched. It all had felt so unnatural.

What Was the Experience Like?

I already have trauma, and it was pretty bad back then. Being under some sort of spellwork felt like being under a haze of something that wasn’t me. The internal war within me became something harder to see through and work with.

I had gone from seeing him as a friend to something more at an unnatural pace. It felt forced as if something else was driving the feeling. I had other plans for my life, and he wasn’t part of them. I had my own life going on and he had his, but I had wanted to be there as a friend. He’d tell me about his dates and guys he was seeing, and I’d feel this weird jealousy that just wasn’t me. I didn’t even like him in that way. In fact, he still made me uncomfortable in a way that I couldn’t quite explain at that time.

I never acted on any of it, luckily. With me, I do have a darker personality. So, when I do have a crush, it’s not the way others experience it. It’s darker, and often more dangerous if I don’t truly sit with that darkness. I did end up warning him of things, but even being around him felt so weird. I had control over myself and my actions, but there was always this feeling of being charmed by him. The words I said were me, and I had kept him at a distance. However, my tone and just demeanor felt so different. I didn’t feel like myself. Often times, it did lead me feeling like a zombie unable to truly think or even function for myself. Many of us already know what it feels like to disassociate or feel trapped in our own minds.

That felt like a haze I couldn’t escape or heal my way through. Any time he’d come to talk to me, I’d immediately feel this forced feeling of being enchanted while another part of me kept him at a distance or screamed to get away from him. I just wasn’t me when he was around.

It was painful because I never wanted to experience that, and I don’t ever want to ever again.

Do We Talk Now?

No. I personally don’t ever want to meet him ever again. It took me about a year or two to finally get out of that haze and back into who I am. I’m slowly working to forgive myself because I had blamed myself for so long as if his actions had been my fault. What made it worse was that I had been in a relationship with someone else, and the guilt of feeling forcefully charmed by someone else ate at me beyond what words can express. It was torture having to work through my trauma as it was, that fog of feeling charmed only made me feel worse.

I’m still working through the resentment from knowing what he did because he knew that I had been in a relationship at that time. All he had to do was genuinely talk to me and be a friend, but he chose to turn to something beyond doing the actual work.

I set boundaries with him after awhile and eventually he just stopped talking to me after while. It definitely took him time, though. He was persistent, I’ll tell you that. I absolutely hated it. He tried to apologize once, but it was more so passive aggressive with no remorse. More so the being sorry that it didn’t work, essentially. I never wish to speak to him again.

Closing

Becoming a practitioner was something I did to protect myself from other spells like what he did because I needed a way to work through it. That year or so of my life was rough, and who was I to tell? Many don’t believe in these things, and that’s honestly understandable. It does exist, and more people have become into these things.

I’ve witnessed practitioners advertise these spells such as love, lust, or even obsession spells as if they aren’t unethical. They are. If you’re with someone and use these spells to nurture your relationship, that’s different. That can be healthy when used right, but you can’t force someone to love you.

If you’re interested in becoming more into the Occult and seeing the magic of life, hold onto your morals and keep about your sanity. This path isn’t easy and it can be intense. Don’t play with things you aren’t quite sure of, and don’t mess with someone else’s free will.

If my story can stop things like this from happening or help others, I’ll tell it. I’ve heard horror stories of how these spells can ruin people’s lives. Not only the lives of the practitioner, but also the life of those under these spells.

Be careful of who you listen to for your own sake and do your research. If something feels wrong, it more than likely is.

Thank you for being here. I appreciate your time.