The Art Of Shaming: An Honest Rant

Photo by Shifaaz shamoon on Unsplash

I have always been a lazy learner. But there was one thing I learned thoroughly, way earlier than anything else. That is how to pin a shrug to your shirt in such a way that when the wind blows, the flaps of the shrug don’t blow back and expose those peeking boobs emphasized by the tight shirt. At the same time, the safety pin does not show. I never liked pinning anything. I’ve always found the safety pin to be a big hassle. But I took the time and patience to learn that because it was the price I had to pay for wearing the clothes I like — you know, the “modern clothes.”

The Rules We’re Taught Before We Even Understand

The next thing I learned was clutching onto my chest whenever I’m bending. Because what if some man is around and gets a peek at that cleavage? It was taught to me even before I completely understood what boobs are.

Then came the leggings rule: Never wear a small top with leggings because leggings are tight and show off that oh-so-tempting ass and that ‘V-Line.’ Make sure you only wear a kurta with leggings. And hold onto those kurta flaps when the wind blows because it may fly back a bit due to those side slits, and others may get a peek at your ass cheeks.

It doesn’t matter where you are — crossing a road, standing on a crowded bus. You clutch onto that kurta for dear life because, obviously, your ass cheeks not showing is more important than a car running over you.

The Double Standard

It’s funny how almost all the girls were taught to feel so conscious of things they have been endowed with. Things that are, well, what make them female. It’s not like men don’t know what’s underneath all that clothing. Most of them must have seen or at least heard about it. So, why all this hassle of hiding what you obviously have, and feeling shameful if something accidentally gets exposed?

I’m not saying girls should walk out buck naked, but this extra carefulness that makes us conscious all the time? It’s just plain wrong.

Reclaiming Confidence

The first thing society needs to teach girls is to feel confident in their bodies and give them the freedom to choose what they want to cover up — and what they don’t. And, of course, teach the boys not to act like horny dogs every time they get a glimpse of cleavage or a girl’s ass. Teach them to avert their eyes politely if it makes them uncomfortable.

We need to stop using the label of “slut” for girls who are confident about what they’ve got and don’t hesitate to show it off. Whether they do it because they enjoy dressing up that way or want attention, it’s their choice and their opinion. No one has the right to tell them otherwise.

The Sad Reality

Do you know what’s even more funny about all this? Even though I’ve just ranted about these facts, and I know my clothes or my style of dressing don’t define who I am — when I step out of my house, I’m still going to pin that shrug to my shirt. I’ll still clutch that kurta with my dear life when the wind blows.

Because, at the end of the day, that’s how brainwashed I am. And I don’t think it’s going to change anytime soon.

Now, actually thinking about it, it’s not funny at all. It’s plain sad.

Final Thoughts

What’s more heartbreaking than anything else is the fact that we all know this doesn’t make sense. The very things we’ve been taught to hide — the very things that define us — should be sources of confidence, not shame. But, here we are, still clinging to our clothing and feeling conscious of what everyone else might be thinking.

It’s time to teach the next generation that the body they have doesn’t need to be hidden. What if, one day, we could stop being ashamed of what we have and start owning it? Then, the pinning, clutching, and hiding won’t be so automatic anymore. Maybe then we can stop living in fear of accidentally exposing what’s already been seen a thousand times over. And maybe, just maybe, if we keep talking about it, if we keep questioning it — someday, some girl won’t have to pin that shrug or hold onto her kurta in fear. And I hope that day comes soon.”

BodyPositivity #Feminism #SelfAwareness #SocialIssues #SocietyAndCulture #WomenEmpowerment #BodyShaming #SocialNorms #GenderEquality #Confidence #FashionAndIdentity #CulturalExpectations #PersonalReflection #SocialJustice #SelfLove