Wrong Words

When your brain calls on some word you never intended

“How was it?”

“Did not go well.”

“What happened?”

“Sometimes I confuse words.”

“Everyone does that. It’s fine.”

“I confuse in terrible ways.”

“Like how?”

“Once in church I was trying to craic wise over some commentary of ‘the heart’. You know, purposefully using the some unintended definition for comedic effect.”

“That’s sounds perfectly reasonable.”

“Not when you confuse ventracle and testicle.”

“Ouch.”

“I know.”

“What’s that got to do with today?”

“Today I was speaking to a group concerning blood diseases.”

“And?”

“I am unsure to what degree I owe them an apology, or the other group.”

“Who’s the other group?”

“Hermaphrodites.”

“I suppose those two words, in plural, both start with an ‘h’ and end with an ‘s’. And ‘hermaphrodites’ is not the appropriate nomenclature.”

“Dude. The piece is literally titled ‘Wrong Words’. Quit busting my stones.”