Au Revoir Paris

It turns out that packing to go home after living abroad is way harder than packing to leave in the first place. This really hit me hard and felt so true to what I experienced a few weeks ago.

Two weeks before my return to Indonesia, leaving Paris felt incredibly difficult. I had felt secure when I first left, knowing I would eventually come back home no matter how far I went. But when it was time to actually leave, it felt different. It was like part of me was staying behind in Paris, the city that had become my second home, where I spent so much time growing as a person.

Going home now left me with so many unanswered questions. “When will I come back here again?” was always on my mind. I felt like I wasn’t done there yet, something I couldn’t let go of. Paris, a place full of memories, had to be left behind. And even though I knew I could visit again, it wouldn’t be the same. The memories I made there irreplaceable. Every street I walked, every corner of Paris I explored, held special moments that couldn’t be recreated.

Saying goodbye was so hard. When we go abroad, we usually think we’ll always come back home. But when it’s time to leave a place that has also become home, it feels like a deep loss. It’s not just about losing a place, but also losing the version of ourselves that we became because of that place. In Paris, I discovered new parts of myself. I learned a lot about who I am, the world, and life. Sometimes, it feels like the further we travel, the more we understand life and ourselves. Paris taught me to be brave, to chase my dreams, and to embrace every moment.

Every experience I had in Paris, both personal and professional, helped me understand what happiness and perseverance really mean. In this city, I felt all kinds of emotions from joy and sadness to deep gratitude.

Dear Paris, you gave me so many memories that I’ll keep forever. You were the place where I truly felt alive. You taught me to follow my dreams with all my heart, even when things were tough. Now that I’m going back to Indonesia, I’ll always carry a piece of you with me, a part of me that will always be connected to you, no matter how far away we are.

Saskia from Paris Mairie de Clichy, Paris December 21st, 2024