MINI-RANT 150

Stop Harshing My Manifestation Aura

And other turns of phrase that mean “bugger off”

There’s gnome place he’d rather be than alone. Photo by John Bussell on Unsplash

Okay, I’m all for maintaining a positive spirit. Especially if those spirits are whiskey and/or gin.

But if I come across one more open-minded, up-energy, vibe-checked devotee to the little black god of yoga who says something along the line of “You’ve got to protect your manifestation aura” I’m going to walk to the nearest precinct and turn myself in.

“Constable, I just sage-smudged some yogi’s eyebrows clean off.”

Why is everyone suddenly an energy healer and wear pants so tight they might as well have “enter here” embroidered on?

And ask a question, you get:

“Don’t bring negativity into my vibration space.”

Look, Pinterest quotes aren’t legal tender. I’m not “blocking your abundance”; I’m attempting to decode your bullshit.

If being gently tapped by my honesty pisses someone off, mission accomplished.

My reality didn’t match the “vibe” of their vision board, anyway.

Besides, it’s Monday.

[Insert by intrusive Doctor Funny editor]

Now please pop on over to our chums at AFP and read this by Steve Uppendahl:

[embed]The Nextdoor App Can Go Straight To Hell It’s like an HOA of Karens in your pocketmedium.com