THE GENERATION RAISED BY THE INTERNET, NOT THEIR PARENTS

Something strange has happened in Malaysia over the past 15–20 years, and most people don’t even realise it. A silent shift took place in our homes, in our families, in our culture. It happened quietly, not through politics, not through school policy, not through religion, but through screens.

We now have a generation that was not raised by their parents… but by the internet.

Suppose you walk into any Malaysian home today. In that case, you’ll notice a familiar scene: a toddler with a tablet, a child eating while watching YouTube, a teenager locked in their room scrolling TikTok, and parents sitting nearby scrolling their own phones. Everybody is together, yet nobody is present. Everyone is in the same house, yet living in different worlds.

This generation learned their values not from their parents’ guidance, not from teachers in school, not from grandparents’ stories, but from algorithms. And that changes everything.

Today’s Malaysian children can memorise all the TikTok dances but cannot greet elders properly. They can imitate Korean makeup tutorials, but cannot hold a conversation without looking at their phone. They can talk confidently about American slang, K-pop culture, and influencer drama, but freeze the moment real-life pressure hits them because nobody taught them emotional strength. Social media taught them how to look confident, not how to be confident.

It’s not entirely their fault. Many parents are too busy, too tired, too stressed. They work long hours, battle traffic, deal with financial pressure, and return home exhausted. When a child asks for attention, they often hear: “Later.” “Not now.” “Mother is tired.” “Go play with your phone first.”

And so the phone becomes the babysitter, the teacher, the best friend. The internet becomes the parent.

Slowly, Malaysian kids stopped learning from their actual family members. They learned from strangers, online influencers who themselves are lost, confused, and performing for likes. The internet doesn’t teach manners. It teaches trends. It doesn’t teach identity. It teaches aesthetics.

You see it especially in the Malay Gen Z crowd. One moment they dress like K-pop idols, exposing skin and following Western fashion. The next moment they act like religious police online, scolding Indian or Chinese girls for their clothing. One day they party, vape, flirt, and ignore religious principles; the next day, they suddenly pretend to be the “purest” and shame others for their lifestyle.

It is a generation raised by contradictions, not because they are bad, but because no one guided them consistently. Their parents were absent, not intentionally, but due to the pressures of modern life. Their elders didn’t spend time teaching values, discipline, or self-reflection. So their behaviour comes from whatever trend goes viral this week.

When you are raised by the internet, you learn how to look good, not how to be good. You learn how to argue online, not how to communicate in real life. You learn instant gratification, likes, comments, views, but never learn patience, responsibility, or empathy. So we end up with a generation that cries easily, gets triggered easily, yet acts aggressively online because they were never taught how to manage emotions.

The saddest part is this: today’s youth have everything except a sense of identity. They know more about American influencers than their own Malaysian culture. They can copy Korean hairstyles but cannot explain their own grandparents’ traditions. They fight online about religion, politics, and race, but have no deep understanding of any of them. They don’t want to listen; they want to win. Because social media taught them that winning arguments gets attention, not wisdom.

The truth is painful. Parents didn’t lose their children to the internet. Parents abandoned their children to the internet long before the internet took over.

They were too tired to talk, too stressed to teach, too busy to guide. So the screens stepped in and became the new parents. And now we see the results: a generation that looks modern but is emotionally fragile, religious on the outside but confused on the inside, loud online but lost in real life.

And if nothing changes, Malaysia will continue raising children who know everything about the world but nothing about themselves.

But things can change. The solution isn’t to ban the internet. It’s for parents to return to their role. Children need presence, not perfection. They need conversations, not lectures. They need emotional guidance, not YouTube playlists. The internet will always be here, but it should never replace the warmth, wisdom, and structure of real parents.

Malaysia doesn’t need another generation raised by TikTok. Malaysia needs a generation raised by families who are willing to show up again.