27 May

What the fuck am I doing with my life?!?

It was just a doodle. A doodle that appeared in her mind and kept replaying in her mind until she actually drew it on paper. And when she posted it semi anonymously online, it blew up. Viral.. in the most unintended way.

Apparently it was deemed a rip off from another famous niche meme. Of course, since she did not know it existed, the ugly comments at first made her curious and later on, got her anxious.

What if the keyboard warriors kept on piling the hate on the post?

What could she do to remedy this situation? Should she post an apology and explain that she was not even aware? Or would it be better to just shut up?

What if some obsessive person stalked her account and started to bombard her email account?

How would she survive the virtual harassment?

Somehow she came back to awareness that she had been staring blankly at the wall, not knowing how much time had passed when she was caught in the mental turbulence. The persistent cold had permeated into her room via the glass window. It was a welcomed change in the atmosphere that kept her grounded to reality.

She looked out of the window. The barren trees were swaying slightly. It was cloudy. She looked at the time. 1700 hrs. Perfect time to go out for a walk to the nearby pond.

She grabbed her thin jacket and headed out.

The sting of cold air into her lungs had the same effect as a cup of hot latte on her braincells. She ‘woke up’ to her surroundings. The dry leaves crackling under her footsteps. The solitary bird or two chirping as they flew past her. Her neighbour’s giant white furred dog was waiting by the gate for her gentle scratch on its ears. She went over to do its bidding. She touched the cool soft fur. She watched as the dog closed its eyes out of sheer contentment as she vigorously scratched its ears.

She continued on walking. The pond was in sight. It was a small pond. Some people were also walking along the given pathway. There was one or two she recognised but never said ‘hello’ to. They too, never said anything to her. Just a slight nod of their heads as acknowledgement was enough a sign of kinship. An unofficial ‘Pond Walkers’ Club’. A silent mutual understanding that they would never need to talk to each other and yet, if help was wanted, it would be handed out immediately and without reservation.

As she gazed at the pond, there was still some movement causing ripples on the water’s surface. Perhaps there are still some fishes and whatnots not yet in hibernation. She thought to herself. A strong wind blew for a moment. She held on tight to her jacket, as if that would keep the heat from leaving her. Something moved at a nearby clump of cattails. She squinted her eyes a little to laser focus her vision to identify what it was. It was nothing. Just wind.

After a while, she walked home. The warm air from the heater hit her when she opened the door. Smell of pasta and tomato sauce wafted around from the kitchen. Her stomach growled. She looked at the time. It was 1848 hrs. Perfect timing, she thought to herself and smiled at the thought of feeding hot tasty food into her cold hungry self.

At the table, as the family said prayers, she thought of all the worries that engulfed her just slightly over two hours ago.

What if the keyboard warriors kept on piling the hate on the post?

She could choose to not read them nor even be notified of it.

What could she do to remedy this situation? Should she post an apology and explain that she was not even aware? Or would it be better to just shut up?

She will think of it when or if it comes to that point.

What if some obsessive person stalked her account and started to bombard her email account?

If it happens, then she could block or even just create a new email account without any affiliation with the current one.

How would she survive the virtual harassment?

One day at a time.

She sighed and felt relief.

Amen.

She headed for her favourite dish first. The fried chicken wings!