Planned or Unplanned?

After moving from a close-knit hostel in Kolkata to an affluent suburb in northern Chicago, amidst a cosmopolitan and distinctly American environment, I encountered conflicting views on how social events should unfold — whether they should be carefully planned, announced, and reminded, or simply arise spontaneously among those nearby.

In a small community, the latter tends to occur more often, where ideas of socializing are conceived and implemented on the spot. However, this often meets with disapproval from those who were not present at the time. On the other hand, proper announcement and planning of events can avoid such concerns. Yet, these scheduled gatherings may not always coincide with one’s willingness or mood to participate.

Which one do you prefer?

Having lived in a separate girls’ dormitory for a considerable time, while most of my friends stayed in the boys’ hostel — naturally more vibrant with constant social activity — I often felt left out. Even though I knew this exclusion was unintentional, I would have appreciated prior notice of such events.

Spontaneous gatherings may momentarily fulfill those involved, but they inevitably leave a mark on those who were not included. Perhaps the balance lies not in choosing one over the other, but in being mindful of who might be left out in either case.