Reclaiming Creativity from Productivity

Finding Time and Working Through My Creative Block

I decided to switch to Architecture and Cogsci at the end of last year. Taubman is painfully strict about its curriculum, which meant I had to pack two years of required classes into one — along with all the EECS coursework I need for Cogsci. Being as restless as I am, I decided that joining two clubs, rushing a frat, and working three side jobs on top of all my coursework was a good idea. For months, I would sleep for three hours a night to get my work done, only to pull more all-nighters at the end of each semester to maintain a reasonable GPA.

Art has always been an outlet for me, yet finding time for it has become impossible. But the more pressing issue I faced this year was that I no longer found joy in simply making art.

Whenever I sit down to paint, there’s a voice in my head reading out every item on my to-do list, reminding me of how little time I have, and shaming me for my lack of productivity. “You can’t use that for your portfolio,” it says. “You already know how to do this.” “You should be watching lecture videos right now.” “You have no motion.”

That last one — having no motion — has been the biggest stressor for the past year and a half. If I’m not learning, if I’m not moving forward, if I’m juggling a billion things at once — I feel like I’m falling behind.

Over time, I’ve learned to live in uneasy peace with my (very messed up) mindset. And I’ve found a way to keep creating without feeling ashamed: by making sure I learn something new every time I make something.

Learning Something New

The first, and perhaps most time-consuming thing I decided to learn was building a portfolio website. The ideation started in early October 2024, and I was finally happy with it by April this year. During those seven months, I would design something, code it, look at it for a week, decide that I hated it, and start over. While the current version still isn’t quite what I want, I’ve promised myself that I’ll keep it for at least a year before completely changing it again.

There are probably smarter ways to make a website than hundreds of lines of pure HTML, but I did find joy in the grueling process.

[embed]Siyu's Portfolio I am a second year @UofM studying architecture and cognitive science. I design graphics, brands, and buildings. I love…siyuge.art

The second thing I decided to teach myself was Rhino. While I do learn a bit of it in my architecture classes, the commands are rather simple and don’t offer much creative freedom. So I decided to start three new projects in Rhino just to explore its functions and be able to tell someone that I actually KNOW the software.

The first project was a bird’s-eye view of the old Shift house’s communal areas. I started the project the day the house was torn down, and the style was inspired by Dogma’s many gorgeous works. I used Rhino to lay down the basic building structures and simple furniture, then drew some of the details in Photoshop on the rendered image.

The second is a coworking space I designed as a protest against the countless hours I’ve spent at fishbowl. The project was inspired by Junya Ishigami’s invisible architecture philosophy (as seen in the Kanagawa Institute of Technology Workshop), and the space is designed to make you feel like you’re in an actual forest: standing columns mimic tree trunks while planted vegetation brings nature indoors; glass panels as walls flood the interior with natural light, creating a space that breathes and evolves throughout the day.

As my Rhino skills improved, I was able to create more detailed structures and furnitures directly in Rhino.

elevation

Then I started another project in Rhino — a forest outpost house that explores geometry in architecture and tries to find a balance between natural and artificial lighting. The sole purpose behind this project was that I discovered lighting in Rhino and wanted to play around with it. I’m still working on this project, and hopefully it will be on my website soon.

By the end of winter semester, I was getting sick and tired of Rhino. I had three exams that I didn’t want to study for and decided it was time to pick up something else. Sitting in Fishbowl one night, I decided to download Blender. Having absolutely no experience with Blender, I thought I’d start by following tutorials. Blender Guru’s donut tutorial is really great and detailed for beginners.

[embed]

The 8-second animation took me about 20 hours of work, but it was probably some of the most fulfilling 20 hours I’ve spent in a while.

Some other things I did this year include: learning 3D printing and making an ashtray for my friend’s birthday,

inspo from basool

making more portraits using different media,

ft. Mukundh + rohan

ZOINK + orange rohan

me losing my mind

and obviously a bunch of branding/marketing stuff for shift.

I wish I could say I’ve completely solved my relationship with commitments and creativity, but that would be a lie. The voice in my head still shows up from time to time. But now I have a strategy that works for me, even if it’s messier than I’d like. Learning something new with every project isn’t the most efficient approach, but it’s kept me creating when I might have otherwise given up entirely. And for someone who can’t sit still, that feels like progress.

As I head into next year, I want to keep channeling my fear of slowing down into purposeful exploration rather than mindless busy work. Each new skill I pick up, whether it’s Blender, 3D printing, or whatever comes next, becomes a small victory. And maybe that’s enough for now.