Things Got Strange

SPOILERS AHEAD for everything about Stranger Things.

Characters weren’t shielded from smugness. Turning excitement into stagnation was the strange thing about Stranger Things. That’s not much of a payoff for spending years following fiction in the real world. A declining franchise provided a chance to preen in lieu of gratifying developments. If the show finishes on New Year’s Eve, it should include resolutions.

Social justice saved some town in Indiana. Nothing was more important than stopping before saving the town or world or whatever from imminent peril in order to announce “I don’t like girls” in what only sounds like an exaggeration. Gayus ex machina was no more contrived than the rest of the episodes.

Homophobia has been extended to noticing scripted goofiness. A particularly rabid fanbase who’d defend Cousin Oliver showing up in the finale pointed out the villain preyed upon fear and thus required his adversary to confront what scared him. It just happened to be the fear of the trendiest tendency that served as motivation. Like everything else in a season that plodded through each agonizing episode over three parts, that sure was convenient.

The original brats notably saved other kids in the finale. Crew workers tasked with continuity had to ensure that everyone shaved. A plan to thwart immediate danger was spread out over as close to a decade as possible.

Good children actors often aren’t so as adults, which was proven in the show’s most scientific result. The charm wore off like an unlucky Dungeons & Dragons roll, which is why none of stars has been in much of anything worthwhile otherwise. Victims can try to blame typecasting. The roles are too identifiable to the point that each person in the ensemble will always be known almost entirely for them The Office-style. A double-edged sword would’ve been useful for fighting the CGI fiend in the conclusion. Instead, cast members will wield it in five years when they host a podcast reviewing every episode.

Believing these legal drinkers were still prepping for SATs was the least plausible part of a show featuring Demogorgons. Beverly Hills 90210 had younger fake high schoolers. The supposedly underage students could’ve babysat the alleged teens in Porky’s.

Using up all the good material is the most authentically teen part. The Duffer brothers either don’t think to pace themselves or simply lacked an outline to develop their elevator pitch. Declining returns aren’t unusual. Not many authors have great second novels. And there’s a short list of iconic albums released by bands once those responsible for churning out new music and lyrics turned 30. But that’s no excuse for a show to peak well before the ultimate conflict.

An initial great idea followed by no idea how to follow through is a pattern obeyed by many shows these days. All they have to do is get on the air. Frustrating viewers follows. Few suckered enrollees will cancel a viewing app subscription after getting caught up in initial intrigue. This is the time for not thinking ahead.

You know a show has started struggling when characters are constantly explaining story developments on behalf of writers. Convoluted solutions led to viewers waiting for whatever fiend jumped out next. The stakes in the boss battle felt as low as the energy.

Unsatisfying codas have a new companion. The Walking Dead’s only action was the title’s middle word, and it apparently inspired a younger generation. Lost felt properly resolved by comparison. Killing Eve didn’t decline as precipitously. And you thought Game of Thrones ruined a good thing.

The finale featured Episode IX vibes, and not just because they forgot to come up with an ending. There’s no supervision here. But at least its practical effects looked authentic. By contrast, the prequel-style final season looked faker as the budget increased. Selling out wasn’t worth it.

People who hate J.K. Rowling won’t accept Dumbledore announcing he preferred wands was less forced. It wasn’t lame enough when Uma Thurman’s kid came out as a convenient sanctimonious story device. Rejecting Steve because she likes girls rather than for anything related to the person with whom she interacted was a bad omen that had nothing to do with being wrapped up by roots. They were so out of ideas that they repeated it.

An agenda distracted from dialogue. Numerous actors from the series have polluted perception of the production with regrettable political stances. Most notoriously, the aforementioned Maya Hawke’s relief at being born after her mother’s abortion displayed real-life villainy. Stranger Things is about protecting kids, and the actors call for the opposite.

The desire for faith is understandable. Viewers were so desperate for something that felt original and sincere that the show’s premiere felt like a miraculous gift. The understated vibe in a show featuring a supernatural underworld offered nostalgia without sentimentality paired with ominous adventure. Subtle costumes and set designs captured the era as those on screen explored the supernatural. But the true fantasy was hoping the show would remain grounded while mysterious.

The audience can’t expect much from the season’s architects unable think of any way to advance the narrative without that freaking pop song. That’s enough Kate Bush, thank you. Tortured viewers fear eternity if it’s going to be that repetitive. Even fans of a quirky ’80s pop footnote now know it’s indeed possible to have too much of a good thing. Run back to before pandering.

Imperiled protagonists should’ve gotten Vecna and Linda Hamilton to fall through plot holes. I’m unsure if the family of the roundish kid is still tied up in a barn. Forgetting about Barb before sort-of eventually addressing what happened was an inadvertent clue about producers, not events.

Unnecessary virtue signaling keeps us from missing the show when it ends. That was very considerate. The strangest thing will be keeping Netflix. It had already been too long, but those who had to see how it would turn out have their answer no matter how hollow. I wish show creators invested as much energy. As it stands, we can lump Stranger Things in with The Simpsons, South Park, David Letterman, and Howard Stern as erstwhile favorites where enthusiasts add disclaimers about when they stopped watching. Stranger Things’ fifth season felt as authentic as Jackass 4.

Stranger Things serves as the perfect example of something overrated. A subject that receives excessive praise can still be good. It’s just not as spectacular as Facebook commenters who seem to have had religious experiences while streaming suggest. Now, trying to maintain enthusiasm is an act of deception to justify the time spent with and waiting for the gang to graduate.

Pretend beings weren’t the ones who endured the most trauma. Disappointed fans try to remember iconic moments while trying to discard the hackneyed ones, which is a useful theme in its way. It’s just not a fulfilling or intentional one. Nostalgia regarding a show revolving around same may cause our brains to only bring up Murray’s scenes. I’ll miss Erica taking charge, too.

A series dragged on only to deliver a lecture disguised as a monologue. A show that brought back the ’80s ended up being about 2025. It only seemed like it took that long.