“The only thing they have in common is you.”

The phrase I mostly read in this generation when it comes to dating is: “I have a pattern.” This phrase is used when describing a pattern that you recognize when dating a man.

For example, in my own fricking experience in adulthood or even in early childhood, I can fricking absolutely remember that I like someone who wears glasses and has good eyes and a smile.

In adulthood, I have a pattern of liking someone who still wears glasses, but with a good eye that can charm you.

In this fricking adult dating system, I always end up losing, and the question pops out in my head: am I the one with the pattern in men, or is that what can be called the common thing they all have? The older one, the one who wears glasses, the one who is into science and history, the one who likes science fiction, etc. All the men I used to like have that pattern, or in the worst case, their character trait is being emotionally unavailable.

So after recognizing the pattern in all the men I used to date and like, why am I still falling for that pattern?

So I have this thought: maybe I am the one who is the common factor in their life, not they are the common factor in mine. Maybe I am the one who is choosing the wrong guy.

To expand this fricking thought in my mind, do all humans always choose what is familiar to them, or are they just afraid to do something different to get a different result?

Are we just afraid to let go of the things that consume us even if they are hurting us?

— Motherfricking way, goodnight.