Stop the Party!

DC Isn’t Trump’s Fixer-Upper

(Photos by Samantha Schleif, Raven3rivers)

Occupied DC #119

First, a distant roar that grew until it scraped the sky.

Then, as I pulled the curtain back in disbelief, thunder sharpened to a scream. A B-52 Stratofortress fighter lumbering north in formation.

Welcome to the Toxic 250 party, the one the White House occupant threw for himself.

Setting off about 850,000 fireworks downtown on July Fourth was too tame. He piled on heavy-metal military flyovers that won’t be silenced until July 10.

Four F-35 fighter jets and a stealth bomber opened the mash-up Great American State Fair last week, according to AP. Most musicians except Vanilla Ice withdrew, along with seven states. Tourists are scarce, too.

The next day, three types of fighter aircraft escorted the B-52 “nuclear-capable” bomber over DC, according to a Freedom 250 statement.

At the same time, for the second summer in a row, the White House has put DC under the federal boot heel for no good reason, doubling to 5,000 the number of National Guard troops in the District. Their mission: pick up litter and loiter in subway stops. Though I did just see a video of four of them following — not helping — a Good Samaritan who doused a little fire in Malcolm X Park.

The “summer surge” sent in a force of U.S. Marshals, DEA, BATFE and Homeland Security’s fraud division, in a statement from the U. S. Marshals’ office.

There has already been a report that someone waiting for a bus in Columbia Heights was tased by U.S. Marshals who claimed to be executing a warrant for someone else. The victim said they were moving away from DC because of similar incidents.

Almost four miles south, the White House occupant said of the Reflecting Pool was vandalized. There were news reports and statements by government officials that people were arrested. The security footage released only seems to show a guy kneeling on the edge briefly.)

DIY Don decided the six- to seven-block stretch of the Reflecting Pool didn’t look patriotic enough.He had it turned “American flag” blue, creating a nursery for algae. Then the blue lining started peeling.

So he moved the military occupation to the bilious green pool, along with three dozen city police, U.S. Marshals and Park Police, And put up another fence.

Some of us are way past laughing at algae.

And interest has faded in the Kennedy Center. The facade is draped in a shower curtain to conceal the humiliation of a judge telling the bruised-ego-in-chief to erase his name.

We have no visual proof he complied with the court order.

What you probably haven’t seen, unless you’ve been reading this, is the Pirates of the Caribbean turquoise stain spreading across our beautiful fountains one by one, like the U.S. Navy Memorial and the Christopher Columbus Memorial Fountain in front of Union Station.

Stay tuned for more algae and peeling paint.

Over on 16th St., the frat party aftermath of the neon-framed cage fight flattened and discolored a huge swath of the South Lawn. Cross your fingers that they don’t spray it “American flag” blue instead of laying new turf.

The East Wing demolition, which left a big hole in President’s Park, has also overrun Lafayette Park. Then the construction debris was dumped in a huge pile smack in the middle in a city golf course in East Potomac Park. A lawsuit by parties including the DC Preservation League is pending.

Now the guy sinking in the polls is charging through every spare bit of DC real estate to secure his place in memory, if not history.

In West Potomac Park, a grassy stretch between the Lincoln Memorial and the Washington Monument, city residents escape to picnic, play softball and wear out the little ones before bed on steamy afternoons.

He wants to cram 250 statues, eight-feet tall, into the park and call it the “National Garden of American Heroes,” according to a lawsuit filed by the National Parks Conservation Association in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia. Such an installation would violate historic preservation, the group contends.

Also, harder to hit a bunt or reach the potato salad around the equivalent of eight bigger-than-life chess sets.

On the other side of the Lincoln Memorial from the shredded Reflecting Pool, where the cost is estimated to top $16 million by ABCNews, are the bronze Arts of War and Arts of Peace equestrian sculptures. They are exuberant and muscular and I love sneaking a look at them when I cross Memorial Bridge.

DIY Don is determined to gild them, using another no-bid contract, this time for an estimated $5 million.

If you haven’t seen your nation’s capital in a while, you might want to get up here before the taxpayer bill is all that’s left.

Oh and if you hear a roar, duck.

End the occupation!