Pujaan Lama

This is a story about a man who once occupied my mind for months on end. A smile would spread across my face the moment we met, my cheeks flushing with shyness, while my hand couldn’t stop nervously brushing the bangs off my forehead.

That heart-pounding feeling made all my worries vanish the moment I saw him. My eyes wouldn’t look anywhere else. I felt blind and deaf to the world whenever I knew he was near.

Forget about talking — even making eye contact was rare. He made it very clear that he didn’t like me. But I, fool that I am, always remained optimistic that one day, he would surely fall for me, just like in the romance novels typically read by teenagers my age.

“How much longer do I have to wait?” I complained while hanging out with my friends. “Come on, you’re just not his type. Get real. He’s already drawn the line so clearly, and you’re still in denial? You’re so stupid.” Yeah, that’s pretty much how my friends always tried to give me a reality check, hoping I’d stop getting my hopes up.

If I had to describe him, he’s big like a bear, with deep brown skin and a bright smile. His hair was always cut short, and his smile was incredibly sweet — though I rarely got to see it. He only smiled when he was hanging out with his friends, and I was never one of them.

I was just someone who happened to be in the same class as him. He never noticed me.

Now… it’s been over a year since we last saw each other. One morning, I saw a story on Instagram and, well… he now has someone he loves with all his heart. That smiling face I always imagined we would share has, as it turns out, been given to another woman who is now the object of his affection.

To you, the one I once admired for your sweet smile: I hope you’re always happy, wherever you are, and with whoever holds your heart in the future.