Rant

Hospitality is often romanticized. Let's talk about who makes it possible.

The Invisible economy of care.

Photo by mora carini on Unsplash

Any culture known for its hospitality works because it is afforded by exploiting women’s unpaid labor.

We romanticize cultures known for their hospitality.

The endless food. The warmth. The sense of being welcomed.

But do we ask who sustains that generosity — and at what cost?

Hospitality produces social capital; it generates networks, it builds reputation.

But is praise and reward enough for all this?

Does the praise even reach the right person?

Hospitality functions the way it does because someone is cooking, cleaning, preparing, organizing, anticipating, and serving.

Historically, and still overwhelmingly, that ‘ someone’ is a woman.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not saying men don’t participate.

Especially in this century, men do participate.

However, the question is this….is this participation expected of them by default?

The expectation is asymmetrical.

And because it is framed as love, tradition, or duty, refusal simply labels a woman asocial or difficult.

I'm sure every woman has experienced this at least once, the full-body rage you feel when you are praised for being a good “woman”.

Not a capable host.Not a thoughtful person.A good woman.

The quiet question of did I do that cause I was conditioned to? Or am I just being nice?

The next time you celebrate hospitality, let’s also name the invisible economy that sustains it.

A small hug to all my fellow women. Let’s keep questioning and moving forward.

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