Gratitude as an Alchemical Force: The way “Shukr” transformed my neural pathways and saved my spirit.

The Burden of 36

At 36, I felt like I was in a self-imposed heart exile. My life seemed to function on the outside but all beneath that surface was a persistent and heavy fog of ungratefulness. I had become very good at keeping track of all the things I didn’t have; looking at my job, my daily challenges, and my unfulfilled prayers with a magnifying lens while my blessings were just a vague blur behind them.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Being ungrateful steals your happiness and takes away your ability to see things as they really are. You have a mindset of scarcity and think the universe is working against you. I felt like I was trudging through life with cement shoes and constantly wondering why my path in life was so much harder than others. I was at war with my Taqdeer (destiny).

The Voice That Changed Everything

My change of circumstances did not inspire my shift; rather, it occurred after my "why" was profoundly impacted.

I remember sitting alone one day, mindlessly scrolling through a video lecture by speaker Qasim Ali Shah. I had heard many motivational speakers talk about positive thinking before, and many times they have affected my head, but on this day his words pierced my very being.

He spoke about God's Taqdeer (Divine Decrees) so simply that my ego was decimated. He asked me: How could the One who wrote my destiny, who loves me more than 70 mothers, write anything for me that was wrong? How could His ink run dry if His writing was filled with infinite love? I was immobilized. For so long I had thought I had a superior understanding of our Creator, and I had been treating my life as a document I was allowed to change because of some error made by the Initial Author. Physically, I could feel a heavy load taken from my chest. Furthermore, if a single mother would move heaven and earth to protect her child, how much stronger would the Love be (75 times stronger) from the Creator?

In that moment, I felt that not showing gratitude or appreciation for such Love was an act of Na-Shukri (or ingratitude). I understood that my Na-Shukri was not a normal reaction to my circumstances; it was a Spiritual disconnection.

The Brain's Alchemy: From Cortisol to Connection

As a writer and seeker of Wisdom, I wanted to discover why these words gave me the same feeling of healing. When I asked that question, I learned that Shukr is not merely a good attribute to have; it is a required biologically process.

When we live in a state of Na-Shukri, our brain becomes stuck in Survival Mode. Our bodies (and thus our brains) are flooded with cortisol, which is our stress hormone; the part of our brain that is responsible for fear response is called the "Amygdala", which in this state of ingratitude becomes hypersensitive to fear and is wired to recognise threats, problems, and things you do not have. When we consciously practice gratitude (also known as shukr), a unique neurological transformation occurs in our brains:

1.Neurochemical

changes:Gratitude stimulates the hypothalamus and produces significant amounts of the brain's natural antidepressant chemicals dopamine and serotonin in the brain during every moment of gratitude, which makes it impossible to feel both depressed and grateful simultaneously because the brain cannot create chemicals associated with deep sadness and happiness at the same time.

2. Pathway modification:

"Neurons fire together, they wire together" describes the neuroplasticity process. As you focus on gratitude, you develop new neural pathways in your brain. Your brain's wiring becomes more optimized to see opportunities instead of obstacles; through this process, you are retraining your brain's paths.

3. Heart-coherence alignment:

The physiological state of coherence occurs when the heart's rhythm is smooth and synchronized. Gratitude is one of the most powerful triggers of heart-coherence; gratitude helps lower blood pressure and increases your immune system's performance.

Active Participation in Shukr

Many people write about the practice of keeping a "Gratitude Journal" on Medium. In our culture, however, the act of expressing gratitude (or "shukr") goes much deeper than just writing about what you are thankful for in a daily journal. Most people say they give thanks to someone else as a reaction to an act of kindness or gifting. In contrast, the act of practicing shukr is a state of mind that acknowledges the source or giver (Al-Wahhab) of the gift rather than just what has been gifted. When one begins to take the perspective of the giver (source), the magnitude of the gift becomes irrelevant. You begin to see every aspect of your life has potentially hundreds of motherly loves: the air you breathe; the roof over your head; the innocent laughter of a child; or even the strength to make it through a challenging day.

The practice of shukr has transformed my life by forcing me to acknowledge the "hidden mercies" (lutf) in every challenge I face. The process of transforming our mundane, daily challenges into spiritual wisdom (the true definition of alchemy) has changed how I perceive my current circumstances.

Practicing Active Shukr What if you find yourself in the same situation as I did at age thirty-six? You’re heavy, you’re tired, and your heart is full of ungratefulness for all that you are and all that you have. What do you do? You don’t ignore your pain; instead, you begin the process of redefining your reality.

1. The “Seventy Mothers” Filter:

When a door closes or a plan falls through, ask yourself the following question: If the one who loves me most was responsible for this outcome, what am I being kept safe from?

2. The Three-Blessing Rule:

Each night, write down three things that went right that day. Don’t limit yourself to just the “big” things; rather, find three specific things. The smell of tea brewing. A kind word from someone you’ve never met before today. The fact that your heart beat one hundred thousand times today with no effort on your part.

3. Audit Your Language:

Change your thinking patterns from “I have to…” to “I have the wonderful opportunity to…” (i.e. instead of saying “I have the opportunity to work on this difficult project,” say “I have the opportunity to work on this difficult project”).

The First Day of the Rest of Your Life

I’m no longer thirty-six and I’m no longer that version of myself. While I still experience both peaks and valleys in life, there are still times when my patience is tried. In my case, Na-Shukri is now replaced by a slow and continuous trust. If you begin to recognize that your life is in some way “manufactured” by a Love that cannot be compared to anything on earth, than you’re well on your journey to developing a heart of gratitude.