Feeling Impostor Syndrome at Work

And It Doesn’t Feel Good

Photo by Keenan Constance on Unsplash

After being out for a year to focus on my mental and physical health, I was very apprehensive about returning to my job. So much had changed, both within myself and at the workplace. As the first few weeks passed, an all-too-familiar feeling crept in — the impostor syndrome.

Despite having over 10 years of experience and proven skills in my role, I can’t shake the nagging sense that I don’t belong there anymore. I feel my confidence was shaken after my health struggles.

I wonder if my former boss has simply taken me back as a favor out of pity.

With my contract up for renewal, the doubts become overwhelming at times.

Do they really need me here? Will I be able to prove myself again?

Logically, I know I am capable of excelling at my job duties. But impostor feelings are not based on logic or evidence. They are insidious thoughts that tell us we are undeserving and will soon be exposed as a fraud, despite our qualifications. After any prolonged absence, I think it’s natural to feel rustier and less self-assured.

Another challenge has been the subtle shift in workplace dynamics and friendships during my absence. Those who were oncemy closest friends now seem to regard me somewhat differently. There’s an air of having “proven themselves” by sticking it out while I was gone. A few friends have an almost competitive edge, as if they want to show they are stronger and better for staying on through tough times (if only they knew everything I went through). It breeds an uncomfortable feeling of having to re-establish my worth and reforge bonds that had frayed. While I don’t doubt my technical ability, navigating these complex social politics in the office has been emotionally draining at times. I have to remember that my health had to be the priority, even if it put a strain on some relationships in the short-term. I hope true friends will understand and welcome me back over time.

Photo by Emma Dau on Unsplash

So… What Have I done?

The key has been to be kind to myself amid the self-doubt. I’m reteaching myself to appreciate my own strengths and knowledge rather than fixating on perceived weaknesses. Every small win, from facilitating a productive meeting, is a reassuring step in the right direction.

I’m also trying to separate my self-worth from my career. My value is intrinsic, regardless of how my performance is evaluated. Celebrating small victories, seeking out support, and keeping perspective have helped counter those nagging impostor feelings.

I’m not going to lie, it’s still an ongoing process, but I’m regaining my footing. Some days are better than others but I’m working on it.

If you’ve gone through a life reset, be patient as you re-adapt. The doubts may linger, but remembering your past achievements and giving yourself grace can quiet the impostor mindset. You’ve overcome challenges before — you’ve got this, we’ve got this!

[embed]Read or Die — Publication Rules Updated January 2024 Guidelinesmedium.com