My Sobriety Story with Greg

“Life is full of ups and downs, but a drink will never make it better.”

This series showcases personal stories of addiction recovery and sobriety. Today’s edition features **Greg Downs, who writes the [Financial Sobriety](https://gregdownscoach.substack.com/)* newsletter on Substack and is the author of the forthcoming book 12 Steps to Financial Sobriety, which applies the 12-Step recovery framework to personal finance and behavior change. Greg lives in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, with his wife and two cats, who are all sober and have zero interest in personal finance.*

When and how did you get sober?

My sobriety date is August 5, 2024. That morning I was arrested in my front driveway. There were six unmarked cars, neighbors watching, and my wife in tears telling me she loved me. As I was stuffed in the back of one of those vehicles, my heart raced. The whole 30-minute ride to the jail, my hands were slicked with sweat. I was embarrassed and ashamed but knew I couldn’t show it once I got there.

When I was put in one of the jail cells, I found a business card with the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 on it. The verse reads: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The ease that came over me at that point is impossible to explain.

As it turns out, my cellmate had been sober for ten years. We started attending AA meetings together in jail. During one of those meetings, a gentleman serving an H&I commitment shared a strikingly similar story to my own. I approached him after the meeting and found out he regularly attends meetings at a clubhouse less than five minutes from my house.

After six months in jail, I went to that clubhouse (with an ankle monitor on), raised my hand, and asked for help. As they say, the rest is history.

What was the turning point in your decision to get sober?

Being in that jail cell was the turning point.

My career has been spent working as a financial advisor to the ultra-wealthy in Palm Beach. The experience of that dramatic turn from boardrooms to jail cells left me at a crossroads.

I had tried getting sober many times before jail. I would attend a meeting, pick up a white chip, and then go straight to the bar. I probably did that 20 times.

I had never seen any real negative consequences to my drinking up until those last few months. Those last few months were pure hell, though. An affair, a lost job, two suicide attempts, complete alienation in our local community. All within eight months.

After the arrest, I knew if I didn’t make a change, I would end up in and out of those jail cells. So, I made the decision to really give sobriety an honest try.

What surprised you about getting sober?

The biggest surprise has been the community. For so long, I always thought I was the only one with the issues I had.

Both of my parents died when I was in my early 30s, and my brother is in prison for DUI manslaughter.

I had no one around me that could relate. None of my friends had lost parents or had family in prison. But as soon as I entered the rooms of AA, I found people who had experienced all of that. There’s even a woman who has a sister serving nearly the exact same sentence as my brother down to the day.

There’s a placard at the clubhouse I attend that says “You are NOT alone.” I needed to know that. I needed to hear how other people have coped without picking up a drink. I still need that today after almost two years.

What’s the biggest challenge you’ve encountered on your alcohol-free journey?

Learning that it’s OK to feel bad. My goal for most of life was to feel good all the time. I chased that permanent feeling of bliss in every drink.

The funny thing about bad feelings (and I’ve since learned any emotion) is that they go away eventually. I also love the acronym for HOPE:

Hang On Pain Ends

If I sit long enough and pick up the phone or a book, meditate, or pray, the transition goes faster. I have a set of tools now that I didn’t have before.

What are the biggest benefits or gifts of sobriety?

I’ve been able to repair my relationship with my wife. I did some really serious damage. I was in rehab for our 15-year wedding anniversary and I was in jail for my wife’s 40th birthday. Not ideal moments to miss. I would say our relationship is the strongest it’s ever been now.

A recent gift has been that one of my wife’s sisters has started attending meetings with me and is starting her own sobriety journey!

Finally, I’ve been able to align my career with my sobriety. I’ve found a sense of purpose that I never had before. I was always so focused on money and achievements even though I was miserable. Turns out I was climbing a ladder that was leaning on the wrong wall!

What words of advice would you give someone who’s considering sobriety or newly sober?

I speak at a lot of treatment centers in the area, and I always wear a hat that says “Keep going.”

Someone told me once, “If you’re going through hell, don’t stop,” and that just really stuck with me. Life is full of ups and downs, but a drink will never make it better.

Please say hello in the comments, and consider sharing your sobriety story.

Thank you for sharing, Greg! We look forward to connecting with you in the comments.

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