GIFTS

The Egg Cooker, the Baseball Book, and the Gifts I Truly Want

What six-plus decades have taught me about presents, priorities and laughter

Rodion Kutsaiev for Unsplash+

I read a piece recently by B.R. Shenoy about thoughtful gifts for 20-something friends. It was an interesting read and made me realize how much I’ve changed over the years. It was also a reminder that when I buy gifts, I definitely need to consider the recipient's decade.

I wasn’t always how I am today.

Today, I want less stuff. I want more time with friends and family. I want what isn’t tangible. And the best gift of all?

Time with my grandchildren, on the floor (yes, I can still get on the floor). We might be reading a book, playing with Legos, eating a muffin, or doing just about anything… and nothing…at the same time

Outside of grandchildren, the best gift for me these days is something that makes life easier, more organized, or makes me laugh. Yes, humor is in scarce supply these days.

In that vein, I will review two of the worst presents I’ve received, but they did come with laughter, and then some gifts I would really enjoy. Of course, I will send this story to my family.

The two worst presents

The winner: An egg cooker for my 66th birthday.

I’ve written about this. It was a fine addition to the household, but not as a birthday gift. The actual gift was the laughter, seeing my husband explain himself and his gift to my kids and me. He truly thought he’d hit a home run as it pertains to creative, well-selected gift-giving. It did make us laugh and yield me a well-received article.

And the egg cooker is a useful and efficient addition to one’s kitchen.

Runner-up for “Worst present”: My kids gift of Jerry Remy’s book on baseball for my 50th birthday.

Apparently they are a “chip off the old block,” just like their dad. They wanted me to appreciate the Red Sox as much as they did, and they correctly assumed that getting there would require more knowledge on my part. My husband affirmed their thinking, and they proudly presented me with this gift, thinking they, too, had hit a home run.

The good news is that I consider laughter a part of any present. We laughed, and I read the book. I didn’t like baseball any more than before, but I could do some simple game-talk. I could say,

“He’s in a slump.”

“His OBP should be higher.”

And I added the word “sabermetrics” to my vocabulary. Since I love words, this was a real plus.

Conclusion: The present they bought for me, that was more of a present for them, had a few aspects that felt gift-like.

The potentially great gifts (I believe in hints)

A clean, well-organized car: I have bags everywhere and small dog treats scattered throughout. On the rare moment that I am driving someone, I need to throw everything in back, and again, no order is obvious.

But I love the feeling (and even smell) of a clean car. Kids are you listening?

An herb garden: This is small and big at the same time. I love fresh herbs, and I don’t enjoy the process of making a garden, plus I am very busy. Gardens take patience and a kind of kumbaya-mood. I have neither. My son has semi-professional gardening skills, but our one-year-old grandson has complicated the “free time” part of the equation, and the baby is too young to step up (or even “step” at all).

A discerning eye that can go through my closet and give things away: All my clothes and shoes come with a story, and I seem to lack the clarity or toughness to say “give away.” Won’t someone do this for me?

A home-cooked meal made for me: My family does want to alleviate the burden of cooking, but their answer is to order takeout. I am not opposed to takeout, but I prefer a simple, fresh, reasonably healthy home-cooked meal with ice cream for dessert.

All of the above are true gifts that don’t have me wondering, what were they thinking?

My rule of thumb, if family and friends are reading this, is:

If the gift is a “thing” that will require a place to live in my house, or a gentle (or not gentle) cajoling to push me in a direction, then it is a gift to the giver.

So, no golf clubs, please. My tennis racquet works great.

No romantasy books, no matter how popular or well-received. I prefer historical fiction, or literary fiction, especially when the theme is coming of age.

Coffee, a good walk, a great book, a ticket to the symphony, or any of the four suggested are all gifts I will see as a gift. But if you venture outside my suggestions, make sure your gift comes equipped with laughter because…

Laughter is still the best gift of all.

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