“Give me the roses while I’m still alive”

Forgiveness in Islam is an act that is incomprehensible

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Not so long ago, I saw an Instagram reel. I was stunned to hear what I heard. I’ll paraphrase her words. In a world where everyone tells you to forget and forgive, she explains how some people don’t deserve forgiveness. I tried to understand where she came from. But with our prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ numerous stories floating in my head, I couldn’t find a reason(s) to not forgive someone. He ﷺ forgave the one who killed his uncle. He ﷺ forgave those who oppressed him. If he encouraged his ummah to forgive those who killed your loved ones, I am unable to find reasons to not forgive those who mocked, ridiculed, oppressed or betrayed me. See, I understand and know that we cannot forget. I’ve been there. But not choosing to forgive seems to be a far-fetched take. To be honest, I am not surprised by the message she was trying to spread. The world romanticizes self-love to the point that they forget the existence of tolerance or resilience. Also, when we are worshipping a God who forgives someone with oceans of sin, as his slaves we are meant to forgive others even if it is hard on us. The attribute of forgiveness doesn’t have to come at the cost of yourself or your peace. Healthy living equals a heart that knows to spread forgiveness and keep the boundaries intact. If you are aware of Allah’s forgiveness, you are aware of the limits of this trait in you. Which is endless.

How I love Rumi’s saying,

I searched for God and only found myself. I searched for myself and only found God.

But can everyone forgive those who wronged them?

I have spent days in my bed staring at the fan thinking of this. My insomnia seems acceptable when the night goes by pondering over these thoughts. When I dig deeper, I end up reaching the concept of kindness. I have written a bit on kindness — ‘Can everyone be kind?’, ‘Mercy surrounds you’, ‘Have you heard of unintentional kindness?’ and ‘Why do people say — Unexpected kindness is the most powerful’. And I feel like there is more to kindness. One of the reasons is that the concept of kindness or mercy or compassion in Islam is vast. It’s incomprehensible. The kindness I see around seems to be completely different from the act of kindness in Islam I read about. I’ve heard people recommending being kind because it feels good. It makes you feel accomplished. It’s good for you and others simultaneously. Or they say the world needs kindness. Humanity thrives with kindness by its side. I agree with everything. But I always felt like something was missing. See, I’ve heard people talking about kindness being otherworldly. But I don’t think they feel that way when they become kind to themselves or others for the sake of kindness itself. Kindness feels otherworldly when it is done for God’s sake. If you think straight, a person who has mountains of reason to not forgive or remain mad with the other person cannot undo it unless he has a bigger purpose. A purpose not limited to the world. But beyond the world. Meeting God with a pure and clean heart can be a reason. A Desire to live with Him and His beloved ﷺ in the highest heavens can be the reason. To be free from sins after death can be the reason. Freeing oneself from sin can’t be entirely for oneself if you ask me. Because a person can live forever by doing inappropriate things even if they regret doing it or not. Until a day comes when he wants to forbid the sins for the divine. This kind of compassion, mercy and kindness are different. The recipient also feels its essence. That is why when Umar RA, the once notorious man of Makkah, became Muslim, the Makkans were relieved. If a man has the capability to do the worst, imagine what the outcome will be if he becomes the best. The most unexpected human can be the kindest if he chooses the light of the divine to enter his inner chambers.

Give them the roses while they are still alive

Don’t wait for the right time to let go. Pakka period. See, the regret you feel for not letting go of the resentment is heavy once the person leaves this world. This may not be because of what you feel for the person. This may be because of the heaviness you feel in your heart at the most random moments for reasons known or unknown. You may struggle with inner thoughts. You may wish to have said the final words to them. You may wish to clear your conscience. You may wish to communicate with them for the last time. You may wish to close the chapter. But you might be too late. And if the person leaves with a hell-huge guilty conscience and you only get to know this reality later from others, it might sting. You will wish to place the rose on his palm than the grave. You might even wish to fast forward life to meet them.

To avoid all these circumstances, just give them the roses while they’re still alive. With pure thoughts. Pure intentions. Seeking the most pure. Just let go. Forgive. Strengthen your heart with iman to the point that you will be able to forward your hand with ease. Nothing is worth keeping in dunya at the cost of your akhirah. Just give them the roses hoping the thorns would not hurt them or you. Trust me, it will not. With God’s will.

Whether you reveal or conceal a good or pardon an evil—surely Allah is Ever-Pardoning, Most Capable. ~ Qurān, Surah an-Nisa 4:149

Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Charity does not decrease wealth. No one forgives, but Allah increases him in honour, and no one humbles himself before Allah but Allah raises him in status.” ~ Muslim

I truly appreciate you for reading this far. May God bless you for spreading kindness ✿⁠

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With peace,

Faheema