Solyanka 268: Silence, Diaspora, Services, Silence, Choice, Motives, Preparation, and Nightmare

After a break, I’m sharing another roundup of our news. The pause before the next “Solyanka” episode will, unfortunately, also be quite long.

About the reasons for my prolonged silence

Lately, I’ve had absolutely no time for photos and blogs. And it will be like this for at least the next couple of weeks. I have no time for anything. The reason is that we finally found a new apartment that suits us perfectly. Now we have the difficult process of moving ahead of us. We’ve already found someone with a van to help us.

This “Solyanka” series includes various publications, including posts from my social media accounts that have been around for quite some time. I hope that the next edition of “Solyanka” will be published from my new apartment. I’ll tell you about the apartment itself and how we found it a little later. This story won’t be anything spectacular, like in Turkey, where the apartment practically found itself.

Now, I used fairly standard search methods. I was persistent. More often than not, I didn’t get answers, or I got rejections. But I kept looking. Constantly. Every day. The only unexpected thing was that everything was resolved very quickly. I would also highlight the positive personalities of the apartment owners I had a chance to see. The owner of our new apartment is also a very positive person. This is important. It really is very important.

In our case, a kind of natural selection seems to be at work — people with character traits or views we view negatively will never rent to people with our backgrounds (foreigners, refugees, and especially those of Russian descent). So, even when I went to view this apartment, I knew I was in for a chance to interact with good and kind people. The apartment also turned out to be quite large, pleasant, and in a great location.

I won’t praise it too much until we’ve moved in. Everything has its pros and cons. But in this case, we have every reason to be optimistic about our future housing. I’d like to believe that terminating our relationship with the HLM management company will also go smoothly. Here, however, my optimism gives way to a weary realism with a tinge of pessimism. Sooner or later, we’ll turn this page, too. Of course, I’d like it sooner.

I’ve received a tremendous amount of feedback from people living in social housing in Bar-le-Duc. It seems our unfortunate experience with HLM is, if not the rule, then at least a very common story. Clearly, this is a long-standing, systemic problem. But since I can’t change the situation for the better, I decided to be proactive and make every effort to move to private housing. Yes, it took a year to find a place. And, alas, not everyone will be able to share my experience.

“Help” on paper

It’s sad, but we received no help with the move from the social workers at Maison de la Solidarité. I don’t understand the point of such social support. After all, we essentially have to resolve all issues ourselves. Apparently, the purpose of this support is purely bureaucratic. But then, perhaps we should call a spade a spade.

On relocation and diaspora

I was worried there wouldn’t be any response to Yoojo and AlloVoisins. But luckily, there is. However, moving is a very stressful experience for us. Almost everything will be a first for us.

Let me explain for my French friends. Russians don’t usually ask strangers for help, even if they’re also from Russia. We’re a very disunited people from big cities. Russia is currently very divided politically. And a significant portion of Russians in exile hold absolutely cannibalistic views — they love Putin and want to destroy Ukraine. The chances of running into such people are very high.

That’s why, to some extent, we even avoid our compatriots. Besides, we’re not used to imposing ourselves. You can ask for help publicly. Those who respond, respond. We’ve received this kind of help in Turkey, Montenegro, and France. But in Bar-le-Duc, there are practically no people of Russian descent. And we don’t intend to exist solely within immigrant communities.

That’s why we try to use local online services created specifically for such situations. We try to find solutions ourselves, rather than relying on help from the diaspora or anyone else. We try to solve our own problems.

I’m exploring new internet services in France.

In the last few days, I’ve been completely immersed in the completely new world of Yoojo and AlloVoisins. Initially, I must have described the task incorrectly. And the responses I received on AlloVoisins were mostly from people with open trailers. While these trailers are probably convenient for hauling farm equipment, I don’t think they’re suitable for transporting machinery or furniture.

The offers on Yoojo were much more reasonable. But there’s a catch. A contractor responding to a moving ad can’t list the full price in their offer. This means a small portion of the fee is paid online. The rest is paid in cash or by bank transfer upon completion of the job.

This is a rather unusual setup for me. But on Yoojo, it’s impossible to set the initial parameters for moving services so that the contractor can quote a reasonable price. I haven’t yet chosen the people who will help us with the move. But fortunately, I already have a small selection. Interestingly, most of the responses are coming from the Haute-Marne department.

I can only say good things about the people who responded to the ads. I really enjoy interacting with ordinary French people. I’m still very far from many French people in terms of politeness and restraint. But I know where I need to go. When we move, I’ll be able to devote more time to learning French, deeper integration, and projects. But the move itself is still ahead. And that’s dampening my enthusiasm somewhat. With a small child and a complete absence of relatives and friends in the city, it won’t be easy for us.

Moving forward in quiet mode

Perhaps some have missed my diary entries describing the difficult life of a refugee. There will be significantly fewer of them now. For we are on the path to independence. Yes, it will not be complete yet. This is just one stage. But we are currently interacting less with government officials than with private businesses and ordinary French people.

Yes, sometimes there are problems and misunderstandings. But these are normal work processes. And I have no reason to bring all this into the public sphere. Yes, if pressure from certain officials begins again, if our rights are violated, the negative posts may return.

But overall, I’ve come to realize that this kind of media activity is rather pointless from a strategic perspective. It achieves nothing, and doesn’t resolve the issue. However, publicity can sometimes significantly dampen the ardor of those who decide to abuse their official position. Sometimes, such publicity is simply indispensable. It’s a purely tactical tool.

But I hope we’ve already moved beyond the point where we had to literally fight for our rights at every turn. We can defend our rights. We know how to create publicity. We know how to take a problem’s solution to the highest level. But we’d prefer to live in a way that doesn’t require us to resort to such methods. We want quiet, systematic progress. And we ask that no barriers be created for us. I hope I’ll be able to share some good news soon. But for now, we’re in the active phase of implementing our plans. And we’re very limited in time.

Making your choice again is very pleasant and exciting!

We haven’t moved in yet. But I’m really looking forward to it. Because for us, it’s the first step toward a normal life. We’ll finally have a proper home, even if it’s just a rented apartment. Here on the mountain, we never felt like we belonged. We didn’t consider our current apartment, which is obviously dangerous to our health, or this building with its myriad unpleasant odors, our home. We didn’t make it cozy. We didn’t do anything we couldn’t take with us. Although we did try to make the apartment habitable.

The upcoming move is a very important step for us. For the first time in our time in France, we’ve made a choice. A choice in favor of a normal life. And today I received my first invoice from Meta. Yes, the amounts are extremely modest. But I’m still pleased. Because even the most modest income from blogging is also a return to normal life. In pre-war Russia, I could easily live on my income from blogging alone. And I hope that someday I’ll achieve similar levels in France.

You know, we’ve had very little good news here. And we’re still heavily dependent on social services. But sooner or later we’ll become completely independent and self-sufficient. Then I’ll be happy. Yes, this happiness will be short-lived. Because when a person is happy, they don’t move forward. And here we have our whole lives ahead of us.

Our daughter will be free. This thought makes all the losses we’ve suffered over the past few years worthwhile. Now our task is to provide Nicole with everything she needs. Safe, healthy housing is our first step. And it’s a crucial step in our return to a full life.

On the motives behind our escape from Côte Sainte-Catherine to the city center

I’ll try to explain why we made every effort to leave the “priority district” of Côte Sainte-Catherine in Bar-le-Duc. In my case, it took almost a year to find a new apartment. And it’s not just because our current apartment is unsafe.

The thing is, we wanted to leave this particular building. We didn’t want to live in HLM anymore, or in the “priority area.” I don’t know if our apartment’s problems are specific to our building, or even to all HLMs. I won’t talk about the mold smell in our apartment now; I’ll talk about more general issues.

In our building, the windows are designed so that they’re very close to the neighbors’ windows. All the neighbors’ odors are drawn into our apartment. For some reason, the stairwell also constantly smells from the apartments. All of this constantly draws you into the apartment. The people living here are varied, and some of their food has a very distinctive odor. But we especially suffer from cigarette smoke and the smell of smoking mixtures. The constant noise is also very annoying, becoming unbearable in the summer.

I understand that many people have lived here for years. Perhaps they’ve come to terms with it. Perhaps their apartments don’t have these problems. But it’s a nuisance to us. We were very upset by the unsightly courtyard, the perpetual puddle near the entrance to our building, the constant piles of trash near the dumpsters. Overall, it feels very sloppy here.

The stairs in our courtyard, which we use regularly, constantly smell — pardon the expression — of urine. The paths and stairs, and the courtyard itself, are rarely cleared of leaves and debris. These are problems specific to our building complex — the further you get from them, the better. But in our current courtyard, in this stone well, it’s very unpleasant to be in.

Sound is a separate issue. There’s a very strong echo in the courtyard. The situation is exacerbated by the materials used in the apartment renovations. The echo in some rooms is terrifying. It’s the same in one of our bedrooms. When walking outside, if the windows are open, it sometimes seems as if people talking in their apartments are standing right next to each other.

For the first week, we tried to sleep in the bedroom like normal people. But it was impossible. The street noise was so loud, we moved the bed into the living room. That’s how we’ve been living. The sounds from the neighboring apartment in the bedroom were as if the neighbor was standing right next to us. He’s a quiet, calm person who never makes noise.

The only way to get to the city center from the Côte Sainte-Catherine neighborhood is either a staircase or a sidewalk partially blocked due to a collapsed retaining wall. It’s practically impossible to get around with a stroller. The neighborhood itself is very small, and when walking with our child, we simply end up going in circles. We’d love to go down to the center for a walk, but I have to drag the stroller part of the way, while my wife carries the baby.

The road there is bad, it’s easy to fall; I’m terrified even to think what might happen. So, we only walk there with the stroller in desperate situations. Climbing a 100-meter elevation change with a stroller or load is no fun, especially on a bad road.

Luckily, our area is served by large, comfortable buses. They’re low-floor. And if you need to travel outside of rush hour, there’s usually room for a stroller. The stops for Line 3, which runs every thirty minutes, are a bit far from us. So we try to take Line 5. However, these buses now run at intervals of between an hour and two and a half hours. Fortunately, the schedule has become a little more convenient recently.

But still, the situation where I wait for up to 40 minutes at a bus stop with two huge bags of groceries repeats itself time and time again. It’s inconvenient, and the time wasted waiting is a real shame. Important: buses in Bar-le-Duc don’t run after 7:30 PM, on Sundays, and on public holidays. Three rare trips on such days naturally don’t solve the problem of lack of transportation.

There’s a small store in our neighborhood, too. It helps us out sometimes. But it has a rather limited selection. There’s also a tobacco shop where you can pick up packages. But there’s nothing else here that we need literally every day. Yes, there are hospitals and sports facilities here. But we don’t have time for sports yet. Getting an appointment at the hospital can also be quite difficult. If necessary, we’ll drive to the hospital from downtown.

It’s difficult to live in this area without a car. That said, the neighborhood itself is quite nice. And the further you get from the HLM apartment buildings, the nicer it gets. But, as you can imagine, we live in those buildings. I wouldn’t say it’s dangerous here, no. It’s more like we just feel uncomfortable here. It’s not the kind of neighborhood you want to take a stroll through in the evening. That said, when we move downtown, I think we’ll often get out for some fresh air in the evenings.

It’s been a bit of a rambling mess. And I haven’t covered everything here. I simply tried to explain why we felt uncomfortable living in Côte Sainte-Catherine. I’ll note that I wrote to both the former and the new mayor about the neighborhood’s problems. I spoke with representatives of the HLM management company and with various city and departmental officials.

It seems to me that the authorities and some locals view the residents of this area as troublemakers, always dissatisfied and always demanding something. It’s quite offensive and unpleasant. We didn’t end up here by choice. We essentially had no choice. And as soon as we had a choice, we immediately tried to leave the area.

I’d like to point out that we received no assistance from social services, associations, or authorities when we tried to leave the area. Furthermore, I felt like every official we spoke to about moving was trying to prevent us from leaving Côte Sainte-Catherine.

I sincerely tried to change things for the better here. But since I couldn’t, our only option is to move to a better neighborhood. We’ll try to do that in the near future. Please don’t take this post as ingratitude. I’m simply trying to highlight the problems of a carless resident of the Côte Sainte-Catherine neighborhood.

Perhaps this will be of interest to someone. And I hope this post will help people understand us better. We, like everyone else, want the best for our children. Unfortunately, the residents of this area are treated like the dregs of society. Although most of the people we’ve spoken with here are just as nice and kind as everyone else.

Overall, it was a rather sad experience for us. One we hope to leave behind. We’d like to put social housing and disadvantaged neighborhoods behind us once and for all. It’s like a swamp. It’s very easy to fall into it without knowing. But then it’s very difficult to get out. The quagmire is overwhelming. Although I admit that some people might feel quite comfortable here. Everyone has their own tastes and priorities. That’s why we’re leaving Côte Sainte-Catherine at the first opportunity.

Endless nightmare

Lately, I’ve been periodically missing from the news agenda. And when I do hear the news, I’m horrified. Strength to everyone who’s under fire these days! I’m primarily talking about the people of Kyiv. But I empathize with all the civilians whose lives are at risk because of this damned war. Just recently, 24 people died in Kyiv when a high-rise building collapsed after a Russian strike. Putin won’t win. But he will continue to terrorize Ukrainian civilians for a long time. However, this war criminal or his successors will continue to destroy Russia for even longer. Unfortunately, I find it very difficult to believe that my homeland will be free of this evil in the coming years.

About the author . My name is Alexander UDIKOV. I am a journalist from Russia who fled my homeland in 2022 due to persecution for articles condemning the attack on Ukraine. In 2024, I received political asylum in France. In this blog, I talk about my new life, sharing my observations and photographs.

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