Delusion of Progress

The Gurgaon man who believed that a ₹370 biryani gave him the privilege and entitlement to share his abusive patterns, his misogyny and sexism with a laugh, has now been fired.

And while many are calling it swift justice, I find myself wondering why this feels remarkable at all.

Perhaps because the incident went viral. Perhaps because he was identified. Perhaps his workplace was identified. Because public scrutiny left little room for institutional ambivalence.

And to be clear, credit where it’s due, the company acted. They did what any responsible organization should do.

Yet the reason so many women are applauding this action is not because it is extraordinary. It is because it is rare.

Because in countless workplaces, women who come forward with accounts of harassment are met not with accountability, but with persuasion.

I myself was told to “think about it.” “To not ruin the young man’s career. Since he has a life ahead.” One of my ex-bosses, a grown man with a career spanning 20+ years, told me this with his arm over my shoulder. I shrugged his arm off, gave a nod and left the room.

The abuser’s career was deemed a tragedy in this case. A sense of victimhood was felt for the abuser. But isn’t this the usual? In many cases, it’s either brushed under the rug or so many loopholes are circled, that one will probably faint into jitters, misery and restlessness.

In the quest, we see the quiet erosion of a woman’s sense of safety. Recalibration of every future interaction. While the man, the perpetrator, spends the time attending meetings, collecting paychecks, and planning his next promotion.

And when the incident finally surfaces, it is often softened by language. Reframed as a misunderstanding. Dismissed as locker-room humour. Reduced to "banter." Hey, I mean, the launda gang needs some substance in their lives, don’t they?

This happens because language has always been one of society’s preferred instruments of absolution.

Why?

Because patriarchy favours the man. Because systems have been instrumented around men. Institutions, ideologies, and positions have been in his service. Made of, made for, made to. Hence somewhere along the way, protecting a man’s future becomes more urgent than confronting the harm he inflicted.

Because concern is so often reserved for the consequences he might face, rather than the consequences she already has.

Because he believed he could get away with it.

And often, he does.

Which is why this firing feels so significant, even when it’s not. Not because it is extraordinary, but because it is foundational. It is the bare minimum expression of accountability.

And the bare minimum has now become commendable. The bare minimum has become something women are expected to be grateful for.

At workplaces. At home. On streets. In public transport. Across every space they occupy.

Perhaps the unfortunate part is that women have been conditioned to celebrate accountability in its most elementary form because they have so rarely been afforded it.

As the internet would say, “It’s giving justice🤌🏼”. But is it really giving justice? Or is it giving, “Consequences are so rare that they feel exceptional, like a delusion of progress.”