the lost art of letting love be love

no performances, no trending terms, just… love

(https://ph.pinterest.com/pin/140174607146892979/)

love was never meant to be this complicated

we name everything now — even the way someone texts you too often in the beginning. we call it “love bombing.” we fear certainty, so we invented “situationships” and “flings.” we were taught breadcrumbing, benching, and ghosting — these new terms never sit right because i don’t think love was ever meant to be dissected like this. to be felt like this. to act a certain way to keep the other “hooked.”

we’ve become experts at labeling things related to love. of making terms that attempt to define the indefinable. to organize the chaos of closeness and fear of human vulnerability. to bring new concepts to the table that help us get close to someone just enough to make them want more — without giving too much of ourselves. to name certain actions and villainize them without always pausing to ask: was it done out of fear? confusion? or simply not knowing how to be known?

we’ve started to fear the very thing we crave. we desire connection but are terrified of closeness. we seek affection but are suspicious of its arrival. we want real love, but flinch when it shows up too directly, too loudly, too soon. so we label it, tame it, shrink it down into something more palatable. and in doing so, we lose its essence.

people crave intimacy but fear vulnerability. emotional detachment is romanticized. situationships are normalized as “low-stakes love.” passion is seen as a “red flag” instead of a genuine feeling.

i miss when love was allowed to be intense (or gentle), tender, messy — without needing a tiktok term to diagnose it or come up with a theory over it. i miss the love songs about learning how to love together, asking how they want to receive love, and how they can better give love to the other. i miss the kind of love that wasn’t afraid to be obvious. the kind that didn’t measure its worth by how well it could pretend not to care. i miss sincerity in an era obsessed with aloofness. because love can be awkward, it can make mistakes, it can be different every time — but what’s important is that it learns.

love is complicated in life, but its intent is simple. it wants to be known. it wants to give. it wants to build. we’ve made it into a game with ever-changing rules, but deep down, it still just wants to be chosen.

vulnerability is clarity, not a flaw. there is something radical about saying “i like you,” “i miss you,” “can i be your partner?” and “can i court you?” it’s rebellious now to be straightforward. and i don’t want to participate in the collective performance of being unbothered. i want love that’s certain, soft, full, and unhidden. i want a love that doesn’t shy away. a love that at times can be afraid, but there’s willingness within to try.

and this isn’t just about the way we label love — it’s about the way we box people into roles within it, too.

we still quietly expect one to initiate, to pursue, to provide the fireworks. then raise eyebrows to the other who loves loudly, who takes the lead, who shows up with too much too soon. we say we want equality, but the blueprint of love is still traced with outdated roles.

love does not care who plans the date, writes the letter, buys the flowers. both should be allowed to give what they can — or to even go beyond for that person. both should feel safe to receive. both deserve the big gestures, and both should remember the little things — the gentle checking-in, the forehead kisses, the consistent kindness. these are not masculine or feminine tasks. these are human things. these are human connections that keeps us alive.

i don’t want a love where one gives everything while the other simply accepts. i want a love that moves in both directions. i want love that feels like collaboration, not expectation. no one should be punished for showing up too much, too soon. and no one should feel ashamed for needing more than what a “situationship” can offer.

love should be allowed to exist outside of performative balance sheets. it’s not a transaction. it’s not a brand. it’s not a trend to keep up with or a word to dissect for virality. it’s a choice. a daily one. an unglamorous, beautiful one.

and if we ever hope to really experience it — truly, fully, without the fear and the games and the labels — we have to stop being so afraid of calling it what it is.

i want love that doesn’t hide behind modern language.

i want love that says, “i’m not confused.”

because love, at its best, isn’t complicated.

and maybe that’s why i still believe in the kind that’s brave enough to just… be.

it’s okay to stumble in love, to be unsure of what to do at first, ang mahalaga, dalawa :)

stream “halaga/dalawa” by nise