Getting Better, Health Over Hell

Like I said, I would keep writing and keep sharing my stories, albeit that last time I said I would come back online was almost more than a month ago, and why would it take me so long to follow up on my writing, my new passion project?

Stress.

And how did I finally make the marvelous comeback to the keyboard?

By getting sick.

Art Credit: Palle Schmidt

Getting sick usually doesn’t lead to much more than prayers for better health, and in my case, I was praying for the pins and needles feeling in my gut to go away.

Step one of getting back to writing was going through days of near-incapacitation. I was on the struggle bus, and all I could think about was getting through the next moment with as little pain as possible.

And this was a strange mirror, this pain. As I wished to be healthier and researched how to rid my ratchet pains, I hunted through all sorts of materials, ranging from *The Diary of a Ceo with Steve Bartlett, centered on topics about [sleep](https://youtu.be/pXlMKzcZlwM?si=-cvuTrZ_4OkROeS3), to the [Institute of Human Anatomy](https://youtu.be/aIXF0DBCevk?si=QwjU-DTwwAu0leKF), which talks about [Why Even Fit People Are At Risk of a Heart Attack](https://youtu.be/aIXF0DBCevk?si=QwjU-DTwwAu0leKF). *I watched talks and videos about reframing how to think about my life journey. One creative that I watched narrated his own endeavors as an aspiring artist. Other speakers I tuned in to shared their philosophies, collected through their studies and travels.

The sick pains killed my appetite for food, and without fully being aware of it, I turned to food-for-thought, and that ignited something in me.

Step two of getting back into writing became the consumption of all these health (physical & mental) knowledge bites. At this point, I didn’t have the intention of absorbing this info in order to write again; I just wanted to get out of the health hell that I was in and find some peace of mind and stomach!

Day 5 of feeling like knives were trying to make their way out of my belly came. And along with it an attitude. A mood that said, “this is bullshit, I’m going to get better and stay feeling at and above a 7/10 for most of the day.”

At this point, I have eaten roughly 2000 calories over the 5 days. I felt physically spent, but I felt spirited and empowered to get over whatever slump I found myself in and pushed myself to the gym.

Step three of getting back into writing ties to that spirit. The drive that wants better. That knows better. That can do better.

And that’s all I needed. The final piece of the puzzle was in place.

Day 6 came and went with me feeling at a 7–8 all day. And day 7 was when something awoke in me that said, “Tell this story.”

What I learned about myself through this is how nuanced resiliency and grit are. I didn’t feel the typical “you got this” mentality like I’m used to feeling when pushing through something. No, this feeling was harder to distinguish through the fog of illness. I had no idea how bright the other side of my problem would be.

Get sick. Hunt solutions. and Make your own story.