Thursday, April 11 to Sunday, April 21, 1991

“She doesn’t talk to me much. I guess she is ashamed of me.”

Thursday, April 11, 1991

My 83rd birthday. Breezy. Had hair done. Went to Acme. M. & S. took me out for lunch. Nice. Got cards.

Friday, April 12, 1991

Cool. Went to bank and drug store. As I crossed the street in front of the bank, I fell down. My knee gave way. It hurt. I felt embarrassed.

Sunday, April 14, 1991

50 degrees. Misty and cool. T. picked me up and I ate lunch with them. DS, her husband, and daughter were there too. Her daughter is bright. Home by 3 p.m. Tired. I ate too much. A good meal.

Friday, April 19, 1991

55 degrees. Nice. Cooler. Washed the grass off the siding. It left some green stains. Cleaned. Washed blouses. S. went to visit her friend at college. She doesn’t talk to me much. I guess she is ashamed of me.

Sunday, April 21, 1991

42 degrees. Chilly. Rainy, heavy at times. S. got back from college at noon. No one came to visit. Didn’t hear from R. Didn’t go to church.

It makes me feel so bad to read that my grandmother thought I was ashamed of her. I was 21 years old, a busy college student who also worked, and did stuff with my friends. I probably didn’t visit her as much as I used to, and I do regret that now. I also held some resentment towards her as I knew how she treated my dad when he was growing up, and I know that, mentally, I assigned some blame to her for his alcoholism. I would never tell her any of that, though. I knew not to mouth off to my elders. There aren’t too many entries left in my grandmother’s diaries now, as the last diary I have stops mid-1992. I will continue posting her most interesting entries until I have no more to post. I am so thankful to her for leaving me this extraordinary look inside of her mind.

Photo by Nick Nice on Unsplash