World Music Day - Special Writing Challenge

The Goodbye I Never Got — WT13

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Every time I hear “Unsaid Emily,” I cry.

Not because my story is the same as the song, but because I know what it feels like to carry words that were never spoken.

My mother left without saying goodbye.

No explanation, no warning and no final conversation. One day she was there, and then she wasn’t.

What hurts the most is that she was the person closest to me. She was the one I trusted, the one I needed beside me. Out of everyone in my life, she was the person I thought would stay.

But she left.

For a long time, all I felt was anger. I was angry that she walked away, that she never explained why, and that she left me with questions that still have no answers.

Sometimes I wonder if she knew how much it would hurt, if she knew how much I needed her, and if she ever looked back.

The hardest part about being left behind is that life keeps moving while your heart stays in the same place. People expect you to move on, but they don’t see the conversations you still have in your head. They don’t hear the questions you still ask when no one is around.

There are so many things I wish I could say to her.

I wish I could tell her how much her absence changed me.

I wish I could tell her how many nights I spent wondering what I did wrong.

I wish I could tell her how angry I am.

And if I’m being honest, I wish I could tell her how much I miss her too.

That’s the part I don’t like admitting.

It’s easier to be angry than to admit that I still miss the person who hurt me, but both things are true.

I am angry and I miss her.

I wish she had stayed.

I wish she had said goodbye.

I wish she had given me something to hold on to other than silence.

Maybe that’s why “Unsaid Emily” breaks me every time I hear it. It reminds me that some of the heaviest things we carry are not the words we said, but the words we never got the chance to say.

I don’t know if my mother will ever read these words.

I don’t know if I will ever get the answers I am looking for.

But this is what I would want her to know:

I needed you.

And when you left, it hurt more than I can explain.

[embed]Unsaid Emily (feat. Charlie Gillespie)

I love the music so much, even if it hurts. And please, I love Julie and the Phantoms. I’m still not over the fact that they canceled Season 2. Like, why?😭

Thank you to **Monika Mahadev and [Sumedh Pimplikar](2)** for this writing challenge.

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