On Bragging Relatives

No one wants to know which club your daughter joined in high school.

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I have a theory that relatives who brag all the time would die if we don’t let them do it. They just can’t help it, and they don’t even realize what they’re bragging about is so trivial and nothing special.

Photo by Hulki Okan Tabak on Unsplash

While female relatives like to ask about your relationship status, male relatives like to brag.

It’s especially annoying when you’re not even sure about your relationship with the relative, not to mention their name. Is he my grandmother’s brother’s son? I’ve never seen him in my life, so he’s basically a stranger to me. So I guess I’d just stay away and mind my own business.

I’m clearly too naive to think he would leave me alone and miss the opportunity to brag, even if I’m not even sure who he is. He starts by talking about his daughter (who is the same age as me), and he says she joined the guitar club and became the president of the club this year.

…Okay? I don’t know what to say to that, so I just reply that’s great! Deep down I’m rolling my eyes, thinking about the triviality and mundaneness of that. He clearly thinks being the president of a school club is an achievement, but it means nothing to other people unless his daughter becomes a world-renowned guitarist or a rock star one day.

The story happened about fifteen years ago, and I don’t see his daughter become either of that.

My uncle David also likes to brag about his sons’ “achievements” when both his sons are mediocre people. He brags about the high mileage on his son’s car, which I don’t get at all. Does he want me to know his son can drive? Very impressive, David.

I suspect it’s because he has nothing else to talk about besides his job (he’s a dentist, so he talks about teeth all the time), and that his children are obviously not as high achieving as him, so all that is left is the mileage on his son’s car.

How pathetic.