The Moment You Prove You’re Capable Is the Moment You Get More Work

And What You Can Do To Change It

Photo by: wr heustis

It all starts in our childhood, when we are young we are adaptable, capable and, we don’t even realize anything is wrong.

We are thought, and praised for being independent, strong our even said to be easy going.

Doing anything outside that frame? Get crizided, and we validate it by I don’t wish to pressure them more. I need to be good, if i’m good I get rewarded.

So we learn, we think it’s normal, because, in our world things always have been that way, so we don’t question things.

You’re the person, that is capable so you don’t ask for help, asking for help is taking their time away.

We are so used, to being disapointment, that we developed a fear of rejection, so you stopped asking, stop expecting.

When someone in your life now ask you, what are you feeling? And your unable to answer it, not because you’re broken our because, your incapeble. You genuin don’t know.

Feeling those emotions was useless. They where a disturbance, in the way, so you stopped listening.

You might remember, that your emotions where labeld as troublesome, with no one around to help you progress them.

So you live your life wondering, why is everyone else choicen? why is everyone else

You overexplain, over justify. You crave validation in an invisible form, that might not be obvious at first glance.

You learned that, you had to be logical in order to not be dismissed.

The right to simply be? That doesn’t exist for you. You have to earn it.

You might find yourself over appologizing for the simplest things, for you where the one growing up, making yourself invisible.

Be small, be low emotionally, I am sorry for taking up space. Adults needs came first, so you adapted. You became less. You started mirroring because, your self was becoming less and, less until eventually..

Now as an adult you taken that learned behaviour, you try your hardest showing your capable because, you learned that you only mattered if you where of use.

Receiving? Compliments? Those are like posion to you, for you have learned it alway’s came with strings attached.

In friendships? You are reliable, the shoulder to cry on and friendships? They become one sided, being with other people isn’t safe, it’s burden to them.

Your prideful too, you handle it all, and society applaused it, your useful, your the adult, you have it figured out.

Asking for help? That was asking for frustration. So you stopped, your lonely and, the one that get’s the most work.

And you crave it, because for you working is proving yourself, so it becomes easy for those around you, giving you more.

Your smart, strong and capable. The perfect person to handle it all.

You scan, you observe constantly. It never stops. Names? Secondary information for you are wired for danger, not familiarty.

So how to change it?

How can you stop people pleasing, how can you stop being afraid for rejection, and stop isolating yourself?

Realize it’s hard and, change won’t come in one day, it’s wired in your brain since childhood. So we aren’t going to fix it, but we are going to learn new things.

Small steps, like choosing things you actually like.

Accepting small steps in help.

Allowing yourself, to be seen and, heard without the mask. Even when that scares you. It’s training yourself, to stop being with people who won’t spare a second thought you are no longer convient, it’s about setting standard for those who make space for you, and the ones never reserving a seat.

That’s how you change.