3rd Shift Insomnia

I have been on third shift for 7 years now. Thru ups and downs in life. A marriage, two children, a divorce, a remarriage, and countless other changes. Life, in my opinion is change. I learned early in my early twenties, that the “best” people are the ones who are adaptable to life’s changes. One constant for me has been my lack of sleep. I can’t count the times I lay awake trying to force my eyes to stay closed. In the back of my mind I can see my daily timer ticking down. I check my phone, only 6 hours left to get sleep. Which is enough. But I check my phone many times before I eventually fall asleep. I wake up to my alarm. How? I just fell asleep.. I snooze too many times and groggily reach for my vape. I quickly get dressed and head to work. I chug copious amounts of coffee just to stay awake. The hour from 1am and 4am are usually the most I am ever awake and aware. The flexibility of my days out ways the exhaustion for the most part. Yet being a clock watching zombie throughout the days isn’t exactly ideal either. But it has given me the opportunity to spend so much time with my kids. I shift my sleep for what they have going on. I get to put them to bed. When they were younger they used to not even know I worked. So yes sleep is important. But I would not trade the countless hours of laughter and love for anything.