Attachment vs Love

Attachment vs Love

Attachment is the architecture of the ego. It is rooted in the terrifying thoughts that we are, in ourselves, insufficient. When we are attached, we do not truly see the other person; no, rather, we see a solution to our loneliness, or a balm for our anxiety, or a mirror to validate our worth. It is a state of constant surveillance, where every change in the other’s mood feels like a threat to our own foundation. We hold on tightly, not necessarily because we cherish the object, but because we fear the fall that would follow if they left. So we choke them, unwittingly.

Love, by contrast, is a state of spaciousness. It is the deep recognition of another’s soul without the urge to colonize it. Love acts like the sun; it radiates warmth regardless of whether it is being watched or reciprocated. It does not require a leash because it finds joy in the other’s autonomy. The choice of staying with you. So you help them grow in every way.

So the difference between attachment and love is often the difference between a clenched fist and an open palm. One seeks to possess the light while the other is simply grateful that the light exists and to be part of it. It is the difficult but beautiful realization that you can adore the bird without needing the cage.

Ìfélabí ❣️