Do You Find It Diffulcult In Getting Someone To Understand Your Point Of View?

People will react to your emotions not your statement.

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A soft anwser turneth away wrath, but grievous words turn up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Everyone has at one time or another disagreements, it happens on the job with coworkers, at home with loved ones, amongst two people in a relationship, in sports, even in the place of worship everyone would like for someone to listen to their point of view.

I will be the first person to admit that I am guilty of this also. Getting it out there, listening to what or how I feel about a situation can be very frustrating when I feel like I am being dismissed. “Yes I said dismissed, when you are not being allowed to get your point across you are being dismissed aka dissed.”

At times our point doesn’t come across with others due to our aggressive behavior in trying to get our point across. Who wants you/ me coming at someone trying to make a point acting in an irrational way? Daaa!

People want their views to be acknowledged, Its gratifying, empowering, and makes us feel valued. We would like people to understand who we are and to understand our valid arguments.

There are times when I have had disagreements/arguments with my husband, he has this thing he does all the time, he will say his piece and as soon as soon as I part my lips to say something he has removed hiself from the room. I could kill him. If their are any police people reading this I don’t mean that literally it’s just how I feel in the moment.

Office of the Boston University Ombuds states that:

When you are in conflict you may have difficulty clearing or articulating your situation without escalating the conflict. Using an “I” message (also known as anassertiveness statement”) can help you stear your concerns, feelings, and needs in a manner that is easier for the listener to hear and understand.

The way I handel my situations are to let it go for the moment and bring it back up at a later date when we both had time to calm down. I wait a day or two, or three when we both have calmed down, and I casually bring it up again with a softer tone in my voice. It works everytime. I don’t suggest my methods would work for everyone or anyone, I am saying it works for me.

What might work for you when you feel that you are not getting your point across is:

• Try to keep the conflict from escalating, try using a calmer approach.
• Take a deep breathe before you confront the person you need to speak with. Let them know that you are feeling a little frustrated, this might put them in a calm mode.
• Never try to make someone understand you, ask yourself why is it that they don’t understand me? Take it from the top and see if you both can get on the same page.
• Suggest a third person who doesn’t have a bone in this situation, they may bring a pespective that may be agreeable to both parties.
• Make sure to actknowledge the other persons point of view, its not all about you, they might see it another way.
• Stop saying the same thing over and over, it may not resonate.
• If things are not going in the right way for both of you, let it go and come back to it at a different time when you both have had time to think it through.

The goal should not be to force your point across, but to offer information of value that others can receive. Sometimes, the most effective way to be heard is to listen first.