A Brief Encounter with Suze Orman, Queen of Financial Media

by Anonymous

The other day, Suze Orman came into my office to have a meeting with my boss. She ignored the other staff members in the room, walked over to my desk, and said, “Why don’t you shave that beard?”

“o…Oh!” I stammered. “I’ll think about it.”

She gave me a side eye, and slipped into my boss’s office.

A half hour later, she reemerged and began walking out the the door without looking at anyone. She then stepped directly behind me and squeezed my head three times before leaving. This is what I imagine the squeezes meant:

First squeeze: “People first.” Second squeeze: “Then money.” Third squeeze: “Then things.”