Sometimes Old People Speak Out of Turn

Photo by Library of Congress on Unsplash

Orientation for the reader: I am living in a 62 + senior apartment complex. Our residents are pretty equally balanced, black and white. I am white.

Last Sunday, I attended an event in the Community Room. It was organized entirely by residents, rather than management. This being Black History Month, after two hours of feasting on the numerous potluck dishes that generous residents had provided, some of my black neighbors had prepared slideshows and short talks about important (but little known) events in American history.

I thought this was wonderful, in light of the present administration in Washington’s campaign to eradicate all such information from libraries and websites.

At some point afterward, residents began speaking up about problems they have had in the building, and the necessity of banding together as a community and looking out for each other. One large black man, in particular, impressed me with his gravitas. Like a Buddha, his slow and considered speech conveyed deep thought and great wisdom.

The problem was that my new hearing aids had not been properly programmed — so I couldn’t follow what anyone was saying! Including him.

Fortunately, I was able to go back this Sunday, after getting my hearing aids adjusted. The residents hosted the event every week for the entire month.

This time, however, near the end of eating but before the Black History presentations, a very distraught white lady (I needn’t say old; I have already told you our age range) stood up and began complaining about the difficulty her disabled son had in getting in the door to the building to visit her, and her dismay in learning that in the event of a fire, the elevators are shut off and there is no way for people in wheelchairs to get down the stairs.

She had legitimate concerns, but she seemed to have forgotten completely about the reason we were there. Some of the black organizers became very offended that she had hijacked their program. It was embarrassing.

Sometimes, older people get upset and confused and start acting out at inappropriate times.

Even so, there was still a compassionate attempt made to calm her down and address her points. One of the main people who tried that was the black Buddha. I was disappointed to find that, even with my adjusted hearing aids, his voice is so soft and low that I STILL couldn’t hear what he was saying!

He, too, is an old person, of course.

There is not a single one of us who is not screwed-up in some way. Still, there was a lot of intelligence, experience and talent in that room, as well as tons of good will and kind intentions. If we remain patient and continue to work with each other, we should be able to create a lovely community.