83/100: God tells nail-biters

A stream of consciousness recording during a long drive in the Civic

God tells good stories, and all good stories are nail biters — where you wonder: is this going to be a happy ending? You see that all throughout the Bible. God can only tell nail biters because he can only tell good stories.

People throughout scripture wonder some variation of Sam Gamgee’s line: could the world go back to being good after so much bad has happened?

It’s like Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Our two favorite modern myths. The heroes almost don’t make it. The Death Star almost blows up Yavin. Luke almost dies. Gandalf actually dies. Frodo almost doesn’t throw the ring into the fire. That’s why we remember them.

To bring it back to the Bible: I immediately think of Moses and the Israelites in Egypt. After Joseph dies, the Israelites haven’t heard from God in how many years? So the drama starts off with a question: Does God remember us? Does God see our suffering at the hands of the Egyptians?

The answer throughout that story, and the rest of the Bible, is yes. He does. Ironically, God never forgets his people. Ever. God’s people forget God.

Back to Moses. His whole story starts off with tension. He’s born as Pharaoh is in the middle of murdering babies. Has God forgotten his people? Well yeah, God’s permitting Israelite babies to be murdered. The only shot Moses’ family has to save Moses is to put him in a wicker basket and send him down the Nile, exposed to every danger. The only thing separating him from the crocodiles (alligators?) of the river is like, plant fiber (and God’s providential hand, but you don’t see that). So the tension only continues to build.

Moses is saved by Pharaoh’s daughter. He grows up as royalty, but kills a man and flees. So NOW the question is: what’s going to happen to our hero? Is he going to be a coward and flee in the wilderness forever? He comes back. But he’s not like, some conquering badass. Homeboy’s got a stutter. (Or says he does). God like rolls his eyes and has him team up with Aaron and t-b-h, I really think this pairing is more like R-2 and 3-P-0 instead of say, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.

Anyway. You have these two literal hicks rolling up to like Pharaoh’s Oval Office and telling them: My God says to let His people go. Want proof? See Aaron’s staff? Boom. Now it’s a snake. My God is better than your gods.

Does Pharaoh fall on his knees and worship the Lord of Lords? Nope. His sorcerers turn their staffs into snakes, too. (Kids, make note: the Disney version of this showdown depicts Pharaoh’s sorcerers as performing illusions to trick Pharaoh into believing they had the same powers as God. The Bible doesn’t say that. It says the turned their staffs into snakes, too. The sorcerers had access to supernatural powers as well).

So. Tension is like 10x at this point. Are the Egyptian gods (ahem, demons) as powerful as the God of Abrahma, Joseph, and Moses? Maybe? Idk. What’s Moses thinking at this point?

Anyway. Over time, God continues to prove He’s more powerful than the gods of the Egyptians with the plagues. Pharaoh surrenders when God kills the firstborn of the Egyptians (which proves God did see the plight of the Israelites when the Egyptians killed their babies. Also, if anyone has an issue with that, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. He is the creator and sustainer of all our lives, and in His good counsel, He determines when life ends).

Israelites dip. They get to the Red Sea. Pharaoh pursues. Tension CONTINUES to build. Pharaoh’s crazy at this point. There’s no telling what he’ll do. Did God bring the Israelites here to die?

God is like — I’ve got something else. And it’s gonna be a hella close W. Like bottom of the ninth. Hail mary. Buzzer beater. Do or die type close. Whatver. Choose your phrase. God’s liek: Imma give you a way out.

What does He do? Parts the Red-frickin-Sea. Israelites pass through. Egyptian oppressors drown. God triumphs.

Two more examples of nail-biters.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego — Rack, Shack, and Benny (RSB) for anyone who grew upwith VeggieTales. ‘Nother nail-biter. RSB refuse to bow before King Neb’s statue. Does God reward them for their obedience? Nope. Tension soars. Neb’s men take them. Why isn’t God saving them? Why isn’t God doing anything. T-b-h, RSB is fine. They’re literally said: either way — save us or kill us — God is glorified. We don’t care if we live or burn. We’re burning already. Burning with ZEAL for God. (Corny).

They’re on their way to the furnace. Will it be another buzzer-beater? He’ll save them right before they’re tossed in, yeah? Nope. RSB is cast into a blay-ZING furnace. Wtf?? Tension doesn’t build any more. It’s not resolved either. It’s crushed. Our heroes didn’t win.

Hold up. No one’s screaming. Neb’s servant looks in. There’s a fourth dude in there with them? Yep. Some say it’s an entity that prefigures Christ. Tension builds again. What’s gonna happen? RSB are saved. Insane comeback.

Same thing with Daniel in the Lion’s den. God didn’t save him from the den. He saved him in the den.

It’s in the middle of the battle that the day is saved. Not before. Because that’s where the story gets really good. More importantly, God’s saints are saved in the middle of their predicament because that’s the only way God’s power can fully be on display. Anyone can save themselves from the fire, from the lions, from the grave. No one can save themselves when they’re in the fire, in the den, in the grave.