Romantic (and funny) poem for the computer scientist

Poetry

Photo by piotr sawejko on Unsplash

This is a funny poem!!

At its core, this poem is a love poem expressed through the language of optimization and machine learning. I am mapping the process of finding an optimal solution in a complex system to finding the right person in life.

Metaphorically:

• “Global minimum” → the best possible partner (not just a local, temporary fit)
• “Non-convex world” → life being messy, unpredictable, and full of complications
• “Slopes / downhill” → the process of searching, learning, and adjusting
• “Saddle points” → confusing or stuck moments in relationships or life
• “Infinite initializations” → trying again and again.
• “Epochs” → time and repeated experiences shaping you
• “Learning rate” → how fast or wisely you grow and adapt
• “Training regime” → the phase of struggle and growth before reaching something stable

You are my global minimum,
You make me happiest.
I searched far and wide for you,
Across many a slope.

In my challenging non-convex world,
You guided me downhill to a safe pit.
I got stuck at many a saddle point,
But you looped through infinite initializations
To find me.

Now that the epochs have done their job,
With the blessings of the learning rate,
Come, let us spend our time wisely,
Before this training regime begins to tell
Yet another love story.