6 June

The whole arrangement was a haze.

When she could finally take a moment to just breathe, she was staring at her mum sleeping behind the glass. She was now an orphan. Even at 53 years old, that notion’s dark gloom was present and strong. Funny, how she already knew that she would miss being annoyed and being nagged by her mum. As her father had passed 10 years ago, and as she had lived life single as a pringle, the home would feel empty. She shuddered thinking if she would survive it.

Someone came to her side. She turned to see who it was. Her brother. Her only sibling and yet they were never close. This fact had hurt her a lot when she was younger. As she grew older, she reluctantly accepted it and shut out that part of her life.

Albert.

Sis.

Got caught in the traffic?

Yeah, sort of. Thanks for arranging everything. I could not get away at work.

She nodded slowly. It had always been like that. So what’s new? That old thinking came back to haunt her. When she had so many opportunities and abilities but somehow never amounted to anything in the end. Albert was the darling of the family.

Granted that she still lived with her parents as she never could make enough for a downpayment. Albert, on the other hand, was successful and had a loving family of his own. Thus, as their parents grew older and frailer, they never wanted to burden the golden son. It was her responsibility to take care of them. She had accepted without remonstrance. It was just that all they cherished was how good Albert was to pay for their medical bills, although he only visited them once in a blue moon.

He is busy. He is a very important man at the company.

That was their mantra.

She could not describe the confusing emotions within her. It was a mixture of hate for being the invicible one, sadness that she never achieved their expectations, loneliness for being left to take care of them and yet gratefulness that she did not have to worry about their medical expenses.

The wake hall was still empty. His wife was to come after the kids were ready. Both of them kept gazing at their mum.

You know, I was always envious of you.

She looked at him, unable to believe what she had just heard.

It’s true.

He earnestly swore.

But why? You are the successful one in the family.

Because you spent more time with them than I ever could. When Pa passed away, I felt so hollow. Sandra sometimes asked me what grandpa was like. What did he like to eat? What was his favourite shirt? I realized I never got to know them well. And even then, I did not try to spend more time with Mum. And now it is too late.

She saw his eyes wet. Her own tears started to blur her vision. Without saying anything, they hugged and cried.