My Lapse from Writing

I used to have a largish website with lots of pieces I’d written and I was sending the links for new pieces to friends and family. But I seem to have suddenly stopped writing. For the past six or nine months I’ve done nothing but idly complete bits of jigsaws I’ve bought from charity shops. I’ve just stopped writing and having ideas or thoughts, reactions to record.

I think I’ve been going through through some kind of transition phase. I feel older. My body has developed odd weaknesses here and there. My knee clicks out of joint. I’ve needed two operations on my scalp to remove cancerous spots. Definitely a transition stage…

But last night I watched a detailed television programme on Susan Sontag. Quite an extrovert, and I want to read some of her writings. But the programme just inspired me to write. She said you can write about anything and everything! So I’m going to do just that. Just for myself. No need to publish or share anything I write. I’m just going to record my reactions to what I see in my life. Impressionistic, I guess. Of no value to anyone but myself, and my own thinking.

I seem to be distracted. Or I half feel I’ve been seeking distraction to take me away from writing. Over the winter we have been keeping a large jigsaw on the go. I sit down at any time of day and search to fit in pieces. All keeping me from writing, even from thinking. I’ve not been going to any courses during this interminable lockdown. I meet less people and it’s as if I’ve stopped thinking.

But things will change now. After seeing the Susan Sontag programme I’m going to write every day. I’ll jot down my thoughts and reactions on my phone, where there’s a really useful notepad that just hangs onto anything you write. A fresh turning point in my life, I think!

Susan Sontag quote:

‘My idea of a writer is someone interested in everything — like a hyperactive queen. I have a thrill or flash of ecstasy two or three times each week. My appetite is compulsive, promiscuous.’