Selfish is Good 2

Here is another excellent example of Selfish is Good, taken from You are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero:

“Forgiveness is all about taking care of you, not the person you need to forgive. It’s about putting your desire to feel good before your desire to be right. It’s about taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of pretending it’s in someone else’s hands.”

“Do not fall prey to the false belief that by forgiving someone you’re letting them off the hook. Because when you forgive someone, you let yourself off the hook.”

Take back your power that you have given away and use it to take care of yourself. Any issue where you cannot forgive someone is draining power from you. It is occupying your attention and not allowing you to pursue a healthy path through life. Spending time repetitively reviewing how that person wronged you is a waste of your life, simply put.

How much energy do you spend on picking at that scar? on deciding that you were right (or wronged) over and over? It’s time to stop wasting your energy and your time and to take them back. It’s more important for you to go on with your life than to stay trapped in the unwillingness to forgive.

Would you rather be right or be happy?

Another aspect of this conundrum is: Forgiving is not forgetting. It is important to learn the lesson from the occurrence. What went wrong, and how can it be corrected or avoided in the future? I’m not talking about pointing fingers or laying blame — that’s falling back into the trap. Look at the issue objectively, as a problem to be understood. The understanding will contain a solution to preventing it happening again.

It may be as simple as: don’t trust that person. But you can still interact with them cordially and respectfully, as you would wish to be treated yourself. Just don’t ever trust them to do what they promised. Once you can explain to them calmly that given previous experience, you find it difficult to trust them, you are back in control of your life.

I’m sure there are many other examples depending on your personal situation, but can you see the common thread? The way through? If you would like to talk about your case, put a comment below or contact me directly.