MENTAL HEALTH

He Cried Silently Until he Released His Emotional Barriers

Scars remained in the heart and needed digging

Photo by Ana Nichita on Unsplash

A young man was my MBA student. He was very friendly to me and always praised my mentoring and teaching skills.

I will call him A. He was a bright young man but something in his expressions made me feel his unhappiness. He was not like the other students in the class.

He would spend a lot of time alone and then with a bang begin to talk to others on a friendly note.

A teacher is very close to their students. there is also an emotional connection between them. Some students develop trust and confidence and share their problems and ask for advice.

I could sense that there was something amiss in A but unless he asked for help or shared his problems it was impossible to help him.

There were indications on his face that showed that he was masking something. I asked his friends whenever we sat for a mentoring session together about their problems and whether they knew anything about their friend A.

A was a mystery to them and he kept a little distance from everyone.

He would not be seen at late-night parties. He always said that he had work to do at home and had to get back home. There were never any complaints that we heard about him or from him and everyone believed he was a fine young man and just a little different from others.

The MBA concludes in a year and 6 months. It is actually for two years but most of the students are placed by the end of the 4th semester and then go for training and only come to the institute for submitting projects and mentoring sessions.

Mr.A also got a prestigious job at a multi-national organization and began to earn his own bread.

He continued to keep in touch with me. On the day of the award of the degree, he was present at the institute. I was the Head of the Department of International Management and the Controller of exams handed over the entire degree ceremony stating his inability to face the camera.

It was hardly a duty for me as I was used to being seen on the stage quite often and had no stage fear.

The ceremony got over and I was touched in my heart when he requested a professional photo with me standing next to him in the photographs one with the degree and one with the medal he received as pride for topping in his class.

In fact, I was teaching the class Corporate Financial Management in which also he scored the highest.

Beaming with the best smile we were able to get good photographs together.

He then took me out for dinner to a wonderful restaurant. He also invited 10 more people to celebrate and bless him in his journey of life.

He picked me up from home in a taxi and we went to the venue. He said he did not want to inconvenience me by driving to the venue at night.

I was ready and waiting with flowers in my hand and he was courteous. When we entered the place I looked at the ambiance and found it very inviting.

All the other people slowly filed in. 7 of them were his classmates and 2 from his new office where he had begun working.

It was a wonderful evening with soft music and people were dancing too. The restaurant was in two parts. It was on the rooftop which was both outside as well a big place indoors.

We sat outside for a while and then came inside to admire the indoor restaurant with its beautiful lighting and grand furniture.

A sumptuous dinner was served and all his classmates also said that they would be celebrating their success as well as soon as they were placed in good jobs and there would be more parties and I should definitely attend when they invited me.

There was a lot of small talk and the time passed quickly. I said goodbye twice but my host did not want me to go and promised to drop me home after everyone left and he had made the payment for the dinner. So I sat on it for some more time.

When I was the last guest left, I asked him again if I could help him in any way that he thought fit and if I could find out what was the reason that bothered him at times.

He was finishing his wine and he suddenly started crying. He told me that he could always feel the love I had for him and there was nothing but shame to be shared and so he kept his little secret in his heart.

He started narrating that his home life was hell. His father earned enough and they were upper middle class but the more he earned the more his ego became big.

He used to scold and shout at him for the smallest mistake and beat him black and blue. He was especially upset when his father shouted at his mother for the smallest mistake she made.

A friend of his father often dropped in at their home and he would sodomize him after drinking.

When he took the courage to complain to his father, he would not believe him and beat him black and blue.

Thus he succumbed to sexual attacks from his father’s friend and each time felt as though some sin had been committed. With all the shame, he attended his school and college he whimpered and went inwards falling mentally sick.

Closing thoughts and takeaways

It was at one of my mentoring sessions that I mentioned that if anyone is facing a problem they should go to a counselor for help and join some self-help groups.

Now that he was earning, He had been to a counselor. He also took the first opportunity and was moving to Dubai as he was getting an offer to go for a project from the company he had joined.

He was so hurt mentally and emotionally by the events at home that he never wanted to see his father again in his life. He wanted to take his mother away from that environment as soon as he could.

I listened to his story patiently while he cried his heart out. I empathized with him and gave him as much emotional support as I could.

He recently called up to say thank you for the evening we spent together and how much emotional burden I had reduced from his overburdened mind.

When you have been hurt physically and it has affected you mentally and there is no outlet you will keep on falling sick and withdrawing from society. It is important to share your problems and get advice from someone you trust and have confidence in.

There may be many such instances that go unnoticed because there is no one to counsel them. Luckily this young man sought help and he will restore his health soon.

Your health is in your hands. Do take care of yourself and share your problems.

©Dr. Preeti Singh, 2024.

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