After the Ecstasy, the Laundry

Choosing Strengths Over “Shoulds”

The Background

My professional life is a constant balancing act between two distinct types of work.

On one hand, there is the Strategic: the high-level visioning, roadmapping, and long-term project guidance that keeps our goals in sight. On the other, there is the Tactical: the essential but often tedious day-to-day housekeeping and bureaucratic tasks.

Fortunately, I have the flexibility to choose how I divide my time and which of these energies to lead with on any given day.

The Choice

Recently, I found myself falling behind on several tactical chores. An internal war was brewing: a “Manager” part of me (to use IFS terminology) insisted on discipline and duty, while another part, my “Inner Child”, rebelled against the lack of joy in these tasks.

My initial game plan followed the logic of James Clear’s Atomic Habits: grit through the chores to reach the “reward” of strategic work. However, the resistance was overwhelming. I was depleting my energy trying to force a sense of “Self-Leadership” rather than naturally inhabiting it.

The strategic task involved creating a three year vision and roadmap for my division — a challenging task in a world that is moving at a breakneck speed. The tactical task involved some meaningless bureacratic paperwork and my manager agreed with that characterization — but it had to be done at some point.

Then, I recalled the core of Martin Seligman’s Positive Psychology. He advocates for identifying and cultivating one’s signature strengths as a gift to the world, rather than perpetually struggling to “fix” perceived weaknesses.

Something within me shifted instantly. “Do the strategic work first!” my intuition urged. I decided to lean into that constructive energy and devoted myself wholeheartedly to the complex strategic challenges on my plate. Because I approached this difficult work with genuine interest and vitality, I was able to “knock it out of the park,” exceeding both my own and my peers’ expectations. I reached deep to harness my creative energies and fill in the gaps in the information required for the task, worked with adversarial groups to get alignment — it was a job done so well that even my “ruthless Inner Critic” had to acknowledge it.

After the Ecstasy, the Laundry

I am reminded of the title of Jack Kornfield’s brilliant book, which speaks to the necessity of returning to mundane housekeeping after an expansive, ecstatic experience. That is where I find myself now.

While a small “do I have to?” remains, the resistance has lost its teeth. I am riding the afterglow of a job well done. By leading with my strengths first, I can now approach the “laundry” of tactical tasks from a position of well-being and integration, rather than one of inner conflict and “shoulds”.