I want a man who’s taller than me

The question, “What are you looking for in a man?” is not new to my ears. After all, for someone well-known, to learn that I haven’t had a single boyfriend is surprising to most.

Well, I’m a hyper-independent person with a huge ego, who’s the Editor-In-Chief of the school publication that’s also the Supreme Council’s president, who, unfortunately, also comes from the highest science section. Just my titles would be enough for one to think I’m unreachable for them (which I’m not by the way, or at least, I think so). Not to mention that I’m quite tall and my lifestyle makes it so easy for them to say that I’m out of their league.

For that same reason, I vowed to leave everything people have ever known me for before I go to FEU and hopefully, find a relationship there.

After a few months of pondering, I think I’ve come to realize that the only thing I’m asking for is to be genuinely cared for by someone taller than me (quite literally, but mostly figuratively.)

I’m an only child who grew up alone. Of course, I never had to depend on anyone else for the things I do and the decisions I make. I learned to live life alone, and while it may seem outstanding, I also crave gentle love — a love that is pure and caring.

I want a love that can see that my walls were never so high, but one would need to know me to take a leap of faith and try to break down the walls. I want a love who doesn’t depend on me to do and set everything, the same way I do for our school events.

Just like how my friends see me as the ‘mother’ of the group and the street-smart one, I want to experience going on dates and not knowing where to go, left with the feeling of excitement and trust for the person I’m with. I want to know what it feels like to be held and back-hugged gently, instead of having been thrown around as if I could not break.

I want a love that knows my whole being, and yet, still loves me more and more as the days goes by.

I want that person to memorize me and to get to memorize him too. I want to know what he feels, and what he thinks, just by looking at the things he does, the same way he could easily guess what I’m probably thinking just by looking at me.

I want to open my whole being to him including my strengths and weaknesses so we’ll be able to grow together. I want us to grow morally and spiritually as an individual and as a couple too.

I want to be able to act like a kid around him. Sharing my random thoughts, my letters, and songs. I want us to celebrate his birthday, the Piyu concert, and every possibility together. I want to know him for the things he loves, and I want him to know me for the things I love too.

I want us to depend on each other so that the other won’t always have to be the strong one.

Blabber aside, I just really hope for one who’s figuratively taller than me.