i took this pict with the best of blue sky

Taking all the blame and flying away

let me tell u something what i feel for.

Bukan karena aku yang sulit menerima, tapi badai itu kembali lagi. Aku pikir aku sudah sembuh, tapi ternyata itu masih menggores hatiku bahkan lebih dalam.

Last time, I came carrying hopes of live that I held onto with all my strength. The holes of pain hadn’t fully closed perfectly and were still walking hand in hand..

One day, I met someone. He became my new hope. At first, it was pleasant, joyful, and I felt moved. But it was all wrong. I was terribly wrong. He wasn’t done yet.

Disappointed, sad, blaming myself for what had happened. I felt like I was reading the same thriller genre, but with a different book cover. I was wrong, and once again I blamed myself

Tuhan, apakah ini memang ditakdirkan untukku? Apakah ada seseorang yang tersakiti atas sikapku? apakah ada yang belum menerima permintaan maafku atas dosa-dosaku? Tolong arahkan…

“just let him go”, yes, of course.

I already understand this script, and I’m the one who has to leave. All my friends know how painful those tears were every night because of this misunderstanding. I am the one at fault, I have to be the one to make the decision to save myself.

Badai itu ternyata datang lagi, bahkan ada diatas kebun bungaku yang selama ini aku rawat dan kukembangkan sebegitu cantiknya. Entah dibantu dengan air tangisan kekecawaan, tangisan kebahagian bahkan keputusasaan ku, mereka harus tetap hidup. Tapi badai itu hampir merusak kebunku, mungkin dia sadar, tapi yang peduli pada kebunku hanya diriku sendiri.

I am always grateful to my friends. They never be tired. My heart and my brain find it hard to connect in sync, but this time I will force myself, not because of that storm. That storm won’t care, so what’s the point?

God, I don’t know what will happen in the future, but what I want is to heal completely. May it be that when other storms come in the future, I will be ready and prioritize my own garden above all else.

Aku izin terbang setinggi-tingginya, tanpa menoleh sekalipun, jika suatu hari ditemukan kembali dengan badai itu, semoga badai yang datang berubah menjadi hujan gerimis ringan yang membantu menyuburkan bungaku.

thank you for your effort to read this story, i truly appreciate it❤

with love, zha.