THE PENNY PUB

ADHD in Adulthood: How I Navigate Life, Learning and Emotions

Finding focus and flourish in neurodivergence

Photo by author

When I was in high school, my SAT tutor and I were at my kitchen table, working on a practice exam.

Having just spaced out and answered a question in the most nonsensical way possible, I braced myself for judgment. I mentally prepared for him to look at me like I was stupid.

I wondered if I’d be able to see it in his face — the realization, “This girl is too much work.”

But when I glanced over at Don, all I saw was kindness. His whole face lit up when he smiled. He persevered with helping me, troubleshooting new techniques to keep my attention on the text.

I’d get an answer wrong, and we’d work on it. I’d get another wrong, and we’d work on that one too. He didn’t see my mistakes as failures but as opportunities.

“I know you can do this, Eleni,” he’d say.

His belief in me kept me going. It helped me push through.

Ultimately, I did end up with a high score. I was ecstatic about this — but when I called Don to share the results, his excitement surpassed mine.

He didn’t just help me improve my SAT score. He didn’t just teach me the value of persistence and patience. He showed me how impactful it can be for neurodivergent young people to have someone in their corner who truly sees their potential.

Calling to mind supportive influences like him is one way I stay grounded when ADHD symptoms threaten to overwhelm me. Research shows that ADHD doesn’t magically disappear with age. Most children don’t “outgrow” it, and for adults like me, it continues to shape how we think, learn, and engage with the world.

Here are some other strategies that have helped me manage ADHD and even use it to my advantage as an adult.

paolo candelo on Unsplash

Technology breaks

For someone with ADHD, phones and screens can be more than just distracting — they’re creativity killers. My mind thrives on focus, but the constant pings of notifications scatter my thoughts and drain my energy.

When I disconnect, I find my creativity soars. Some of my best work comes when I’m armed with nothing more than a pen and paper.

Ironically, the device that’s supposed to make life easier — my computer — is almost never present when I write my best work. I associate it with distractions, writer’s block, and overwhelm.

Breaking down tasks

ADHD can leave me feeling scattered, but I’ve learned to break tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps. I purposefully create conditions that make intense focus unavoidable.

For example, reading with large print forces me to focus on one portion or idea at a time, preventing the task from feeling overwhelming.

I’ve also found that going for runs when it’s foggy outside encourages a similar present focus. By shrouding extraneous details, the fog has me concentrating on just one step at a time — which keeps me running for longer.

Burrowing for comfort

Being neurodivergent means I have a heightened sensitivity to noise and light. Loud sounds like motorcycles or crying babies can trigger a full-body negative reaction.

For this reason, I love finding and creating enclosed spaces where I can burrow. I sleep under a weighted blanket every night. Sometimes, friends and I will build forts that allow us to be cozy while reading next to my cats.

It’s a way for me to self-regulate. Burrowing can feel safe and predictable, providing a calming effect in an otherwise chaotic world. Many neurodivergent individuals find similar comfort in this.

Photo by author

Learning by doing or writing things down

I write instructions down, or I’ll forget them. They’ll be lost to the stampede of thoughts running through my mind. I’m like Simba trying to hold his ground against a herd of bulls.

When I’m given many instructions at once, it’s overwhelming. I’m not great at transforming them into action at some later point. By the time I actually need the information, I’ve forgotten half of it.

But when I can either write them down or engage hands-on, adjusting and figuring things out as I go, I retain more of what I’ve learned. I learn best through experience — by doing, making mistakes, and taking direct action.

This trial-and-error approach may not fit traditional expectations, but it’s how I thrive.

ADHD is part of who I am. Managing it isn’t always easy, but finding strategies that work for me has been key to navigating its challenges. I’ve learned to approach it with patience, adaptability, and self-compassion.

Every neurodivergent person is different, so what works for one may not work for another — but understanding and kindness can go a long way for us all.