Unapologetic Identity

We live in a culture that is utterly obsessed with the word *fluid. We are constantly told that labels are prisons, that boundaries don’t exist and that everyone’s sexuality os a shifting ocean. But let’s be honest, for a woman who is exclusively attracted to women, this obsession with fluidity isn’t progressive, it’s just a modern, polite face of hetero coercing. *It’s a systemic whisper designed to invalidate us, suggesting that our identity is just a temporary phase, a lack of experience or a riddle that can be easily solved.

For years I fought the heavy fog of internalized homophobia, but not because I wanted to be straight. I never wanted that. The fight was against a world that constantly asks “But are you sure? Have you never even liked a guy?” It is the exhausted boredom of having to defend your reality against people who cannot comprehend a life lived completely outside the male gaze. There is a strange, hidden malice in how much it bothers people when a woman knows exactly who she is. Our unshakeable certainty triggers their insecurity. They are terrified of a woman who is emotionally, intelectually and sexually self-sufficent, a woman who fundamentally does not need a penis to feel complete. And when they realize they cannot shake your certainty, they try to colonize it with heteronormative fairy tales. They look at two women in love and instantly demand to know “Who is the man in the relationship?” They desperately need to force us into their narrow boxes, insisting that one must be masculine and the other feminine just so their straight brains can process our existence. They cannot understand that a lesbian relationship is not a cheap, distorted copy of a heterosexual relationship. It is a completely different universe. It is a space where the toxic dynamics of patriarchal roles have no power.

My identity is not a playground for a straight curiosity or a chapter of someone else’s experimentation. To hide the trendy excuse that everything is fluid is often just a shield for people who are too cowardly to stand firmly in their own truth.

My name is Aga. I am solid, not fluid. I am a proud, exclusive woman who loves women. I am a lesbian. I will never dilute my unapologetic truth just to make the straight world feel more comfortable.