Jason Takes a Cruise

Crystal Lake doesn’t exist anymore. Every one of these stupid movies gets further away from the sparkling Lake from the original movie. “Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan,” is the dumbest and most pathetic entry in this series. Absolute garbage from beginning to end and makes the last entry better by comparison. It comes down to this electricity resurrects Jason Voorhees, again, and he sets out to commit another violent killing spree on a boat with dumb teenagers.

Jason is chained at the bottom of some watering hole that is supposed to be Crystal Lake, the writer and director, Rob Hedden, couldn’t even get that right! Two dummies are on a houseboat, and he tells her the legend of Jason Voorhees in case you haven’t heard it yet, before the anchor snags an electrical cable underwater, and Jason arises. That is what this garbage has come to. It doesn’t take him long before he kills both teens, and there just happens to be a hockey mask hanging on a wall.

The advertising says this movie is about Jason in Manhattan. No, it’s the last 20 mins of the movie. Jason descends upon a boat in some harbour, and it’s a graduation class for the local high school. Jason kills the majority of them on the boat, but this movie has Jason chasing the two main characters throughout the streets of New York City, Manhattan, near the end of the movie, which is deceitful. It should be called, “Jason Takes a Cruise.”

Kane Hodder returns as Jason, and the next morning, he stows away on the ship, the SS Lazarus. On board is main character, Rennie (Jansen Daggett,) who is so poorly developed. Her Biology teacher, McCulloch (Peter Mark Richman,) should be on “Dancing with the Squares.” The usual slutty girl and a slew of other weirdos, including a punk rock chick who takes a guitar to the face. That’s the “kills” here: Stab with a spear, stab with glass. There is a scene where Jason punches someone’s head off, and it’s so phony and stupid. This installment has the least development out of any of this garbage.

Very much like before, the film ratings board sanitized this movie but I can imagine what there was. The budget is so low and the movie is so poorly made. This has the least effort out of the sequels and it’s like this movie was made in six months and it shows they couldn’t think of anything because Jason teleports. There is a scene where Jason is chasing some moron, and he begins to claim up a pole at the front of the boat or something, and he looks up, and Jason is somehow standing at the top of the pole and fires the kid off. It’s ridiculous!! One girl gets strangled to death on a dance floor, and Jason just appears behind her.

Reenie is the main character, and after Jason murders everyone on the boat, a few escape in a lift raft and head for the Big Apple. Rennie is aquaphobia, and wouldn’t you know it has something to do with her uncle, McCulloch. He tossed her in the water when she was a kid. So, why does she see visions of Jason as a young boy when she was a kid? Why does she see visions of Jason as a young boy out in the ocean? Good dope, maybe?

Eventually, they make it to Manhattan, and Jason does not take it. Instead, it’s an excuse for him to murder a few more dummies, including two drug addicts who attempt to kidnap Rennie. Jason continues chasing Rennie and Sean (Scott Reeves) throughout the streets until they wind up underground in the sewers where toxic waste is pumped through every night. Toxic waste! Come on!

Jason somehow remembers his childhood, I guess, and, he starts spitting up water with the worst-looking Jason you can imagine. Reenie throws a barrel of toxic waste at him, and it’s supposed to make it look like Jason’s face melts away. No, I swear they spent 5 dollars on his face. Why does Jason turn into a child when the water recedes? None of this movie makes sense, and it’s unwatchable.

“Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan reaches a new low as this eighth sequel fails harder than any previous films. Jason teleporting is one thing, the story is nonexistent, and New York City is Vancouver, British Columbia. It’s a dreaded poor excuse to hold onto the rights of “Friday the 13th.” Jason being on a boat and not Manhattan, even tho advertised, is a slap in the face. Hopefully, this is the end of these movies. We do not need any more!

0/10