Everything Else, Until Jesus

Early Obsession with Astrology

I was eight years old when my obsession with astrology began. It was inescapable; all the adults around me explained behaviors, identities, and individuality through horoscopes. Naturally, no one questioned it when all the books I borrowed from the library and the magazines I read were about astrology. This early interest soon led me to join astrology communities, where I had access to birth chart calculators. I delved into moon signs, Venus signs, houses, conjunctions, and oppositions, believing they shaped not just attitudes but appearances and life purposes.

Deeper Involvement and College Struggles

My fascination grew deeper as I explored Vedic astrology, and I eagerly interpreted birth charts for anyone who would share their birth data with me. I pestered them for their information and felt a thrill when I saw the heavenly map of their birth appear on the computer. Interpreting these charts felt like my purpose, even though my interpretations often left people confused or offended.

Fast forward to my first year in college, and I was ready to give up on psychology. I had forgotten why it was my major in the first place. Amid a devastating breakup, I sought solace in astrology, believing it held the answers to my heartache and confusion. I thought if I studied it enough, I could have predicted the outcome of my relationship. Astrology became my guide, leading me into another relationship based on our birth chart compatibility.

The Turning Point: Losing My Way

By my second year in college, I was floundering. I flunked out of every class, none of which fulfilled the requirements for my psychology degree. I felt lost and purposeless, drifting aimlessly and wasting time. I was angry with God, crying to Him at night but still turning to astrology for answers. Astrology, not God, was my main source of guidance.

Years went by, and my love for astrology deepened. It led me to tarot cards, crystals, and spiritual guides. I became obsessed with the idea of twin flames and out-of-body experiences. I even paid a hundred dollars to have my Vedic birth chart read, letting it dictate my life and free will.

A Life-Changing Psychotic Episode

The turning point came when I had a psychotic episode. One night, held captive by fear, I believed the thoughts in my mind telling me, “You are going to hell; only Geminis will make it to heaven.” My mind was consumed by astrology, controlling my actions and emotions. I was alone in a room, following the commands of spirit guides in my mind, believing they were influenced by astrological signs. My reality didn’t make sense, and it was hard to let go of astrology as my basis for understanding the world. The truth is Astrology is real, it has power, but it does not come from God.

Finding Jesus and Letting Go of Astrology

I was able to let go of astrology when I had lost everything — my house, my daughter, my mind, my comfort. It was then that Jesus found me and restored me. It was hard to believe in Jesus at first; it’s hard to believe in someone you can’t see or hear. It may seem silly to pray, read the Bible, or try to have a relationship with God. But I believed in spiritual guides and everything else. What did I really have to lose by believing in Jesus? Emptiness perhaps, and parts of myself that were alienating me from the real world, and beliefs that didn’t give me meaning or hope.

Living a Life Guided by Faith

With Him, I no longer relied on the stars to tell me who to marry or what to major in. Instead, I took each day one step at a time with Jesus, trusting Him to reveal His plans for my life. I didn’t need my husband to be a specific astrological sign; I prayed for a man who would be faithful, kind, hardworking, and loving towards me and my children. I prayed for our relationship before meeting my husband.

The most important thing I asked God was to give me a purpose. Now, I follow Him and write about Him. Through Jesus, I discovered my love for writing, something I had overlooked while consumed by everything else. It is a miracle that I was able to obtain a bachelor’s degree in psychology. It took me a long time to get here, but Jesus got me back on track.

TL;DR

My journey from astrology to faith in Jesus was a long and challenging one, filled with confusion and heartache. Astrology promised answers and control but only led me deeper into darkness and despair. It was through losing everything and turning to Jesus that I found true healing, purpose, and peace. With Jesus, I no longer need the stars to guide me; I trust Him to lead me one step at a time. My life is now grounded in His love and truth, and I am grateful for the transformation He has brought into my life. Through my writing, I hope to share this journey and encourage others to find their healing and purpose in Jesus.

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