What Does Home Mean to You?

From blessing to curse

Photo by Planet Volumes on Unsplash

We, as women, see the transition of different homes, two different worlds.

One is under your parents’ blessing, and then a day comes when you need to start a new journey because we are all bound by customs.

You are living in a place of “peace”; you are treated with love and care.

Then a day comes when you go to your “new home”.

And here is where the story begins.

Once you were a pride, now a

Torment (Azaab) — You are such a torment (Tumhai laa k to hum azaab mai aa gae).

Cursed (Manhoos) — You question their lies (Tumhare manhoos qadam jo hamare ghar mai agae).

Ungrateful (Nashukri) — We give you bread to eat and a shelter to live; how ungrateful you are.

Psycho (apne dimag ka illaj krwao).

Loose character (Kisi our ko pasand krti hogi) — As we are so pious, she won’t look happy; she might be interested in someone else.

Now you are living in a place of 24/7 labor, scrutiny, humiliation, gaslighting, dishonesty, manipulation, lies, and cruelty.

The most interesting part of the story is that there is a woman on the other side who has not overcome her sufferings and insecurities. Now you are here to feed all the insecurities she developed in her life.

Hurt people hurt others.

And we all witnessed this: many young, beautiful, and shining souls lost their lives while building their new home, “tumhara apna ghar”.

There is always someone else’s daughter who had a

nervous breakdown,

Who is psycho,

who died by burns,

who is ungrateful.

And there are many other ways to kill a soul without even being caught; the mental abuse — a silent killing that no one ever identifies the culprit.

The story of building a new home starts when two individuals hold each other’s hands. But that home is never built where one person is constantly absent, and one is constantly struggling with family toxicity.

Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash

What I learnt in the process: home is meant to be “peace”, your safe space, and it’s not just made up of walls; it’s with people.

You are your “home”, and the people who see you as an individual as a human, are your home: your safe place.

Celebrate yourself, encourage yourself; be your own cheerleader.

Dear women, many of us lose our lives building a new home (apna ghar); value yourself, and value your life. You cannot feed anyone insecure in their own skin; you might die in the process, and that is not even enough for them.

Build a safe space on your own.

You are a born “blessing”.

Remember, you are important, and your life matters.

Move ahead with me on a journey toward healing and financial stability.

My E-books are available: *https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/wwwlulucomtubabashir/*

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