The Dark Side Of Planet Hy Man

Chapter Forty One - The Rubik’s Cube

One woman’s story is another’s alibi.

Dolly examined her Rubik’s Cube; it was as dead as a leg of roast lamb. She jiggled it, oblivious to the Cleaner’s entrance.

“Have you seen my ladder?”

“Not now!” Barked Dolly.

“A simple yes or no would have sufficed,” snapped the Cleaner.

“I said not now.”

The Cleaner glowered. Blue dwarf cleaners could get uppity at the drop of a hat, which often led to a strike and pile-up situation; a situation the Cleaner was beginning to ponder.

“I was merely asking a question….” she huffed.

Dolly sighed, unaware of any potential strike or pile-up. The cleaners she knew liked drinking tea and practising their English with her.

“…And I am not paid to be spoken to like that.”

“You get paid?” The librarian appeared at the door. She threw the cleaner her best ‘I’m attempting a bit of light banter’ look, which looked more like a "get out of my face’ glare. “I thought you did it for the love of…er…it.”

“Just because you do.”

The Librarian shifted uncomfortably. She never could tell a joke, let alone enjoy one. The most she could muster was a hint of sarcasm, which at best went over the head of any cleaner and at worst, incited the pulling out of ancient walkie-talkies and wide-scale moaning. The ancient walkie-talkies were the only ‘keeping in touch’ equipment a cleaner was entitled to, a ruling thought to quash any strikes and pile-up talk; and sometimes it was known work...

“I clean for money,” said the Cleaner. “And how can I be expected to do that with no ladder?”

The Librarian stopped. “You use a ladder?”

“Of course, I use a ladder. How do you think I reach those windows?”

The Librarian thought about the ladder poised outside her windows… “Oh,” she muttered.

“I come back from a break, and it was gone, puff like smoke… just my bucket and shammie...”

“You get breaks?” said the Librarian.

“I searched high and low, asked around, and no one seemed to know what had happened to it.”

“You sure you didn’t, you know, put it away and forget? I do that all the time,” the Librarian lied.

The Cleaner glared at her. For the last few weeks, that was all she’d heard from anyone, along with ‘Where did you last see it?’ And quite frankly, she was sick of it. She, having exhausted all her ‘low-level’ cleaning, had a truckload of ‘high-level’ ladder work accumulating, which no one, even her so-called colleagues, seemed to understand.

She pulled her walkie-talkie from her pocket. It was time to take action… strike action.

“Why don't you borrow a few books from the library….” said the Librarian.

“Oh ha ha very funny”. She flicked on her walkie-talkie and waited for it to ‘dial up’.

“…Make a few steps like…a ladder?”

Dolly looked up. “You looking for a ladder? There’s one in the library, under Sir Two’s desk… there.” She pointed.

The Cleaner walked over to the desk and peered underneath to see her precious fold-up ladder, shoved under the desk like dirty laundry. She glared at the Librarian.

“Here,” Dolly tugged at the ladder. “Borrow it…” she pulled it out. “Take it. Knock yourself out.”

The Cleaner looked at the ladder, then at the Librarian.

The Librarian coughed a blush.

The Cleaner’s walkie-talkie crackled. She lifted it to her lips, made to speak when voice intercepted… “This better not be about your friggin ladders again?”

The Cleaner shifted uncomfortably.

“'Cause if it is, I’m hanging up right now. I’ve got a day's worth of polishing and an hour to do it in.”

“Er, maybe talk later then,” hissed the Cleaner. “Over and…”

“You don't know anything about Rubik’s Cubes?” Jumped in Dolly. “This thing is as dead as my perm…”

“Spit and Polish,” bellowed the voice from the walkie-talkie.

The cleaner inspected the cube with a sniff and nod.

“Spit and polish, on a Rubik's Cube,” the Librarian attempted a jocular laugh.

“Sure, you can,” said the voice from the walkie-talkie. “You just spit.”

The cleaner spat.

“Then make like Aladdin and rub.”

Adam ripped the Nokia from the guard's hands. “ Where the black friggin hole did that come from?”

“It's an iPhone,” said Guard One.

“A what?” she turned it in her hand. It was very like that Earth boy, Woody’s.

“iPhone,” the mobile automated.

“But not as you know it,” added Guard Two.

“Upcycled to a Nokia,” said Guard One.

“Top notch,” automated the Nokia.

Adam scanned the screen, split into three views small enough for Adam to slide her glasses on. She peered closer…

There was an elderly man dressed in tatty silk, explaining the difference between a mop and a robot, to a circling sphere.

“Alice,” the Nokia automated.

“I knew that,” lied Adam. Her eyes moved to the comatose Pope and Pot on the veranda.

“Faking it,” automated the Nokia.

“Obviously,” Adam had no idea. She gasped as the screen zoomed in on Prudence's confused face, distorted under the magnification.

“It’s the scatter gun approach,” said Call Me Kirk and Mae in unison.

Adam nodded.

“You haven’t a clue, have you?” said the Nokia, and Adam, for the first time, didn’t have an argument left in her.

… To Be Continued

If you want to read more about Adam and the Libarian then check out The Other Side of Planet Hy Man

[embed]Available now at your favorite digital store! The Other Side Of Planet Hy Man: A Sci Fi Comedy With Cosmic Misunderstandings by Kerrie Noorbooks2read.com

🔶 Read our newsletter 🔶 Follow Serial Stories🔶 Share your story 🔶