Carl Jung Warned: There Are Only Four Things to Worry About In Life

The first is easy to fix. The second is hard to notice. The third is tough to say. The fourth is difficult to confront.

Photo by David Pisnoy on Unsplash

“You’ve got to be more honest, Andy.” My friend said after I laughed at a joke I didn’t find funny. “You try to make everyone happy, but I can see it doesn’t make you happy.”

He told me that I did that a lot.

What hurt most was not being called out by someone I love, but that he made me confront what I’d been denying for years, and that was pleasing others so I could belong.

“We cannot change anything until we accept it.” Carl Jung added bluntly.

That day I had to accept it. I had to accept that I wasn’t doing the person I laughed along with, nor my friend, nor myself any favours by not being true. No one wins from a lack of authenticity. And not being authentic was something Carl Jung said was worth worrying about in life.

Below are a few more.

1. Living An Unexamined Life

Having people like my friend in my life has helped me examine why I laugh at jokes I don’t find funny, why I play the nice guy, and why it’s important for me to fit in.

It all stems from a younger self who never felt good enough, so I changed myself to the point where I didn’t know who I was.

“But at what cost?” He asked, and I didn’t have an answer.

That was before I started examining my life. Now I know the cost is too big to bear.

Carl Jung called the stories we tell ourselves our “personal myth.”

“Everybody acts out a myth, but very few people know what their myth is. And you should know what your myth is because it might be a tragedy and maybe you don’t want it to be.” (Carl Jung)

If I believe life is a struggle, I will live out the myth of a warrior.

If I believe life is unfair, I will live out the myth of a victim.

If I believe life is full of opportunity, I will live out the myth of the creative.

If I believe life is full of love, I will live out the myth of the romantic.

But these are just made up. They are just ideas and stories I tell myself. However, if I silently repeat them over and over again, they become as real as the words on this page.

Luckily, the mind is a malleable thing, so it can change at any moment. And when the inside world — our story — changes, the outside world changes, too. That’s when a whole new myth can start playing out.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung

2. Wearing a Mask/Playing a Persona

If you’re anything like me, you won’t be yourself everywhere you go. There will be times when you’re more polite than you want to be. There’ll be times when you withhold what you really think and feel. There’ll be times when you say “I’m good” because it’s too raw to share how you really feel with a complete stranger.

We all have a mask (or many masks) that show up on a weekly basis, and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s quite helpful. It can be a way to preserve energy or protect ourselves.

My goal is simply to get to know what masks I’m wearing and why, because figuring out what drives my behaviour allows me to have more compassion with myself. And if I have more compassion with myself, I’m more curious. And if I’m more curious, I’m more inquisitive. That helps me unpack my unconscious mind instead of it silently ruling behind the scenes.

While writing The Red Book, Carl Jung played the role of psychoanalyst and lecturer in public while almost losing his mind behind closed doors. So, even Carl Jung protected his psyche until he was ready to share his findings more widely.

“Don’t confuse the mask with the real you.” My mentor said. “That’s when things can get confusing.”

I haven’t forgotten his words all these years later.

3. The Judgement of Others

One of the reasons why I love Carl Jung’s work so much is that it doesn’t blame anyone or anything for what’s happening in the outside world; it uses the outside world to understand what’s happening inside the mind.

Everyone’s experience of life is different; it allows space for that, too. “We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” Anaïs Nin said. This is something Carl Jung echoed many times over as well.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung

Over the years, I’ve asked myself:

• What parts of myself have I not yet accepted?
• What parts of myself do I project onto others?
• What is in my shadow?

This shows up in the way I judge others.

Just the other day, someone was speaking to their friend on the phone while I was in a quiet little second-hand book shop. All I could hear was their conversation, and I couldn’t focus on the words I was trying to read. “Bloody hell,” I thought. “He’s loud. I wish he’d shut up so I can read in peace.”

A much deeper and more vulnerable reason why I thought he was too loud was that I don’t like to take up space in public. I like to fly under the radar and be incognito. I try to respect others, and I’m constantly aware of their needs to the point where I’ll hold myself back, even if that’s having a laugh with a friend on the phone.

I still put the needs of others ahead of my own.

Thinking he’s too loud led me to understand something that’s still unresolved in myself. An old wound that keeps me quiet and small.

Without examining this judgement, I would never know it’s still there. And I’d rather know it’s still there than walk around with silent judgements of others.

4. Heeding the Call

In Memories, Dreams, Reflections, Carl Jung wrote: “The question is: can you say yes to your destiny?”

Joseph Campbell said this is “the call to adventure,” and it’s “the point in a person’s life when they are first given notice that everything is going to change, whether they know it or not.”

For some people, like me, this happens through illness. For others, it can come through the death of a loved one, a relationship ending, a career change, mental health issues, or (if you’re one of the lucky ones) a spiritual encounter.

However it happens, it’s normally abrupt and sudden. Whether we listen to that call or cling on for dear life has a dramatic effect on the rest of our lives.

I’ve done both in the past, and I can say that however scary listening to the call is, not listening is even scarier.

For Carl Jung, he was dragged into the underworld, into the deepest, darkest parts of his psyche for many years. This was his “call to action.”

Although his was on the extreme end, he warned that if he didn’t listen to the call, it would have been a death sentence.

Something similar happened to me recently. In two weeks, I am going to India to do an intensive detox program for a month. When I was first presented with the opportunity, forces beyond my control started guiding me in that direction. The call was loud and clear. Whether I liked it or not, I was going.

I’m currently spending each day surrendering to the process and opening up to the mystery.

I’m saying yes to my destiny.

The path ahead is unclear, but Carl Jung said this is a good sign. I’m taking solace in that.

“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” — Carl Jung

Continue reading…

[embed]There Are Only Six Things You Have to Avoid In Life (According to Carl Jung) Plus there are five things to cultivate and work onandycmurphy1.medium.com