Based On A True Story & Life Lessons

Was it the Ultimate Guy’s Fantasy or the Most Wicked Curse Upon a Man’s Life?

Why did the luckiest guy in the world finally retire from the mating game? He realized all that luck came with a curse.

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

NOTE: Names have been withheld for privacy.

Teenage boys have fantasies, and most of them should stay that way. In the case of one young man, his naughty fantasies kept coming true until his brain let him understand the words out of their mouths. From sixteen on, it all came far too easy. How did it all start?

It started when he was barely old enough to drive. 16 years old and getting picked up by a 26-year-old. Fast forward, just a year later, and his best friend asked him to let her find out if the rumors were true, that he was that good. 30 years of a prolific sex life and the young lothario turns into a mature lothario. It never stopped.

Then one day, while chatting with the boys, the fantasy life that most guys envied was revealed to be not such a fantasy. Ultimately, it turned into a nightmare, and the poor fellow was still young enough to find that missing piece of his life would no longer be able to see it happening. Staring at decades by himself, he resigned to his fate.

The mating game was never the way it should be. He never had certain things, the things that give a couple a chance at building a life. He had all the fun, all the sex, and no future with any of them, even though each took a piece of his heart. Eventually, he flipped a switch and no longer was willing to play the game anymore. Years before being 50, he was bored.

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How Does Someone Get Bored With Sex

When younger, and going through puberty and the post-puberty years, sex is all you think about. It is the same with women. It’s not a male thing, a slutty thing, or a promiscuous thing. The hormones raging in our bodies are turning us into little beasts who will hump a statue. Ah, the good old days.

Sex is a fun, incredibly satisfying, and necessary part of life. Everybody has a fulfilling sex life at some point in time, hopefully. Not knowing everybody, that statement was hyperbolic at best, but you get my meaning. So what would turn a younger, healthy man into someone with no interest or concerns about sex?

To answer your question, no, it’s not a maturity issue. Number one, we’re talking about men. When do we guys become mature when it comes to thoughts about sex? Coming from the law enforcement community, it appeared to be right around the time things no longer worked downstairs and doctors were prescribing Viagara.

During one of those chat sessions between two guys who spend an obscene amount of time together, the subject of sex, relationships, and him not seeming to care about either came up. Unlike typical locker room discussions, this was deeper. Subject #1 was going through the traditional dry spell that hits single males. Subject #2 was in more of a 4-year drought.

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

“Jesus, how do you even get out of bed in the morning?” asked Subject #1.

Subject #2 laughed. He understood how guys looked at things, and he was healthy and had needs like every guy, but the years of dating and the mating game took their toll.

“Let’s just say, I’ve had my fill,” answered Subject #2.

“How do you get bored with the idea of sex?” asked Subject #1.

Subject #2 recalled every lover and every special friend he had in his life. He could see the faces of each and every one of them, even at 45. As he explained to his work buddy, even he had a hard time understanding how he got to where he was. Even though he’d lived his life, sometimes he felt like it was a life meant for someone else.

“Don’t you ever get bored with something, then you move on?”

Subject #1 chuckled as the two worked away in the middle of the night. “Sure, but it’s usually a game I’ve played a thousand times or a show I’ve over-binged on.”

It was an apt comparison. While he might not have fit the typical aesthetic bill of a lothario, Subject #1 had the Midas touch when it came to getting lucky with women. At 16 he smarted off to a 26-year-old. She would become his first just a few days later. Less than a year later, an obscene amount of girls and women, and rumors were starting to spread.

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His best friend, a pretty girl, and someone he thought the world of, admitted that she crawled into bed with him to find out if the rumors were true.

His luck was so odd, that he yelled a phone number at a buddy one day, and a 19-year-old who strikingly resembled Lita Ford pulled it out of the air and called him. That was 36 hours of pure carnal fun. Odd things like that continued throughout high school and into college.

He’d lived an odd version of the dating game. Even blind dates started the wrong way and ended without the actual date. This continued into his early 20s, and by then the oddity was out of control. As much as he wanted to be with one person, to live that life he’d always admired, like his grandparents, it wasn’t happening.

Swearing off sex until he had a connection wasn’t an option. He tried it. Dated an old high school friend one night, then told her he wanted to hold off on the physical stuff until at least a second or third date.

He planned on getting together with her right after vacation and even brought back a souvenir for her. The next time he heard from her was her wedding invitation in the mail. Turning her down, with a reputation as a sure thing, did a number on her insecurities. She threw herself at the first guy that came along.

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The swinging mid-twenties were an adventure. It would be, dating someone born two decades before he was. Again, their first date started with her inviting him to a hotel hook-up. He would admit to his pals that she was way out of his league so he couldn’t turn her down.

The thirties were a time of youthful exuberance and mistakes. That’s how he described his thirties, a time when everything that could go wrong did. Amid all the events of his thirties, there were more than a hundred tries. After a hundred-plus tries that all ended the same way. Why wouldn’t they?

Most of them were only interested in one thing. The ones interested in anything substantial weren’t interested in it with him. Then, like his 20s, the age difference came into play. Most of them were between the ages of 21 and 27.

A couple were younger than his own child. Something about a person in their middle-aged years, or close to it, sleeping with a college freshman would seem unsavory after the allure wore off and he realized he’d been too vulnerable after a family death.

His forties were a time of introspection and oddity. He was actively avoiding the public, other than work and his family responsibilities. Still, that wouldn’t keep him from the temptations a man succumbs to, no matter how hard he tried.

The forties included a handful of not-even old enough-to-drink gals, an unsavory red-headed bounty hunter from Iowa, and the capper of all the horror stories. In his forties, according to how he explained it, he ended up bored with the idea of having a woman in his life, including a practicing witch.

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“Wait,” said Subject #1 after hearing his explanation for how a guy gets bored with sex and women, “Did you say you bagged a witch?”

“Yep,” answered Subject #2.

“Like a dancing naked under the full moon around a fire kind of witch?” asked Subject #1.

“The whole nine yards buddy, weird rituals, strange mixtures, odd spells, and she swore she’d master transmogrification and conjurings,” explained Subject #2.

“So, what you’re saying is you did everything there was to do, and that’s why you gave up,” said Subject #1.

That was the case. He’d given up hope, got bored with the way things had gone, and realized that in nearly 30 years of dating, he’d yet to have a first date the way people do when they live a normal life.

It was in his 45th year that he stopped cold turkey. He told every woman that propositioned him no.

Image by Peter David from Pixabay

Subject #2 found clarity, and realized, that despite his best efforts he had not ever escaped the memory of the happiest time in his life. When he had been with all the women since one in particular, he had never been as happy. There was no replacing the one that he once loved, and the one that he knew loved him before their lives were torn apart by outside influences.

“You could keep trying,” Subject #1 suggested. “We could go out, I could introduce you to a few people I know.”

“No,” he answered. “I’m tired of going down that road, hoping that anything will ever be as good as it should. It’s never mattered how lucky I am with women, I’ve only ever seen one face in my picture of how I wanted my life to go.”

Takeaways

It’s what keeps the human race going, and is one of the more fun parts of the human experience. It’s also something that shouldn’t be thrown around like a frisbee. Subject #2, like anyone given too much of something enjoyable, didn’t get a chance to enjoy one of the better parts of sex.

He had only one true love in his life, and something outside the relationship interfered and tore them apart. They never got the chance to see what was possible, and he never got closure.

In a lot of ways, he’d lived a life that many guys would be jealous of. And yet, he’d lived a life he never set out to find. The life he led found him and kept finding him.

While his friendship with Subject #1 grew, and #1 grew to understand his friend more, Subject #1 eventually learned that #2 may have had a very colorful, exciting, and thrilling life, but was not a man filled with peace and happiness. Subject #2 was missing something he’d always sought, until no matter how hard he tried, he no longer saw it as remotely possible.